Demons in the Church

Notice: some content may be triggering, and no information on this site should be used to diagnose, treat, prevent, or cure any disease or condition. Please see my Disclaimers.

This article is part of my ongoing bio, which can be found here: “Snapshots: My Memory Album

Is the current pitiful and hypocritical state of many churches today, both in terms of rampant, unchecked sin as well as widespread, unchecked false doctrines, the result of demonic infiltration into Christian churches and communities?

Or does demonic infiltration come about because of the sin and false doctrines so many have refused to repent of?


(the different elements of infiltration are listed at the very end)

  1. Double Standards and the State of the Heart: Hypocrisy is Not Holiness
  2. Dissociation, Programming, and Early Training
  3. Example One: Demon Possession … or Playacting?
  4. Example Two: a Demonic Consecration
  5. Example Three: a Demon-Possessed Pastor …?
  6. Example Four: a Demonic Project and the Grid
  7. Example Five: Astrally Attacking Pastors
  8. Church Infiltration: What is It, How Does it Work, Why Does It Happen, and How Do We Overcome It?

Double Standards and the State of the Heart: Hypocrisy is Not Holiness

If you’ve read my bio thus far, you’d know that I was raised in Apostolic/UPC churches. I don’t know what official organization the Apostolic church in west Texas was affiliated with, and I think they may have shut down now — Praise God — because I can’t find any information about them, and that wasn’t the case several years ago. But the church I attended in San Bernardino, California, was an Apostolic Pentecostal church that was affiliated with the UPCI, at the time I attended there.

You may know the type of church I’m talking about.

It was the type of churches where we had “Standards of Holiness” that everyone was supposed to keep (in theory, anyway), such as: us girls weren’t allowed to cut our hair, wear makeup, wear jewelry, wear pants, or wear short skirts, because it was a sin; no one was allowed to watch television because it was a sin; we weren’t allowed to drink, smoke, say naughty words, get tattoos, go to the movie theater, dance, or swim with boys, because those things were sin.

Things like that.

The kind of church where divorced women were going to hell, and abusing–


–pardon me… “spanking” or “whipping” one’s children was treated as if it were the only acceptable form of Godly discipline.

Things like that.

I wasn’t taught to identify as a “Christian,” but as an Apostolic, and later, as a Pentecostal. More specifically, as a “one God, Apostolic, tongue-talking, holy rollin’, born again, heaven-bound believer in the liberating power of Jesus’ name” type of Pentecostal.

I was taught that when other people identified as Christian, that was an indication they were probably heathens, like the Baptists, who hadn’t been taught the Bible good enough and needed to be brought into the Pentecostal church and get the Holy Ghost, which was the only way to get into Heaven.

(so I was taught)

I wasn’t taught the doctrine of salvation, but instead was taught that we “spoke in tongues,” which was considered to be evidence of “getting the Holy Ghost.”

Not the Holy Spirit. That was how heathens talked. Like the Baptists.

(so I was taught)

But the Holy Ghost.

It seems this has changed over the years, and some Pentecostals are okay with saying “Holy Spirit.” I was raised differently, however.

“Acts 2:38!” was practically our battle cry and our main identifier, aside from how we dressed, that is, and although I don’t recall being explicitly taught that Acts was the most important book of the Bible to the exclusion of every other book, that’s the reality of what I learned, so much so that I spent a significant amount of my free time one year memorizing the whole book of Acts for Bible Drills.

(Bible Drills — different than, but kinda similar to, Sword Drills — were competitions for kids that were formed by different church groups that basically consisted of us being asked rounds of questions that we had to be the first to answer correctly by quoting, word-for-word — KJV only, of course — the Scripture that answered the question. For some ridiculous and horribly embarrassing reason, I kept getting Noah and Moses confused — apparently I’ve always been bad with names! 😂 — and so I lost our team points more than once because of this, not making me a very popular team member.)

“Do you have the Holy Ghost with evidence of speaking in tongues?” was the main question we were taught to ask when witnessing.

(“Witnessing” could be summarized to mean “inviting people to come to our church,” and was kind of like when we set up temporary shop by the front doors of Safeway or Vons or Albertsons on the weekends to raise enough money so Mother could pay our tuition for the church’s private school we were supposed to attend because only the backsliders and the unsaved went to public school — it was appropriate to say “unsaved” in that context, although it was better to say “people who don’t have the Holy Ghost” — except instead of “Would you like to buy a candy bar?” it was “Would you like to come to church with me?”)

And, yes, presumably “getting the Holy Ghost” came about because of “getting saved,” but we never, that I remember, talked about salvation, and I don’t ever recall hearing a single sermon about salvation. I never heard anyone ask, “When did you get saved?” or “Are you saved?” I didn’t hear people ask that until I got older and we left the UPC church.

Instead we were taught to ask, “When did you get the Holy Ghost?” or “Do you have the Holy Ghost?”

Maybe this mindset has changed now for some, but this is how I was raised, and other denominations (but especially the Baptists) were scoffed at and practically damned to Hell …

(“damned to Hell” was a sin for regular people to say — it went against our Standards of Holiness — but it was okay for preachers to say sometimes when they were preaching about where people went who didn’t have the Holy Ghost)

… because they obviously didn’t understand the true meaning of Acts 2:38, but instead preached about heretical things such as “sinner’s prayers” and “believing and confessing” and Romans 10:9.

So no one “got saved.” That concept was for the heathens. Like the Baptists.

(so I was taught)

Instead, we “got the Holy Ghost.”

Revival services came once or twice a year …

(I noticed at a young age that “revival” usually occurred when a special evangelist or prophet visited to preach his fiery sermons, and the purpose of such a revival was so that everyone who had somehow lost the Holy Ghost somewhere during the year by backsliding — which meant they hadn’t kept The Standards — or who was running low on the Holy Ghost for some reason, could get refilled with the Holy Ghost, kind of like if your car ran out of gas: you just filled it up again. And I’m not trying to be flippant, but this is how it made sense to me as a young child.)

… and during revival, the Holy Ghost would “hit.” This would also sometimes happen during services that weren’t technically classified as a revival, but were unexpected, extra-Holy-Ghost-filled services that usually came on Sunday night because everyone was too tired on Sunday morning, and the middle of the week wasn’t very convenient, either.

When the Holy Ghost hit, the women would scream and holler and jump and do little jigs that had the tendency to make all sorts of body parts flop around.

(This was called “dancing,” but not to be confused with the sort of dancing that went on in honky-tonks.)

The men would jump up and down, too, and sometimes do little jigs, but most often they would “run the aisles,” although sometimes the less feminine women — or the teen girls who were too embarrassed for certain parts of their developing body to flop around but who didn’t want anyone to think the Holy Ghost hadn’t hit them, too — jogged around the aisles, as well.

The more flamboyant of the men used to “jump the pews” during exceptionally exuberant services, such as when revival came and everyone was especially worked up.

I remember one service, my stepfather tried to jump the pews, too.

Unfortunately, he had short legs.

So this is how I viewed my experiences as a child based upon what I was taught about salvation, the Spirit of God, standards, holiness, etc.

And for those of you reading, especially those who may have come from an Apostolic/Pentecostal background, please don’t misunderstand what I’m trying to say.

I’m not suggesting that you should slap a ton of makeup on your face, chop off all your hair (or grow it long, if you are a man), and burden down your ears and nose and chin and lips and cheeks and tongue and eyebrows and forehead and belly button and private bits with hoops and studs and spacers and shiny dangly things.

I’m not proposing women throw out their more modest clothing in favor of hot pants and short tight dresses.

I’m not encouraging anyone to drink alcohol, whether a single glass of wine or a weekend binger.

I’m not asking you to consider taking up cigarettes, or to start vaping, or to try chewing tobacco.

I’m not saying everyone should purchase televisions for every room of their house — or even for one room.

I’m not excusing filthy and abusive language.

I’m not suggesting you run out and get a sleeve tattoo, or any other tattoo.

I’m not suggesting to young ladies that they put on their skimpiest bikini and take a dip in the community pool.

I’m not inviting anyone to go clubbing or to go to the movie theater.

And I’m certainly not telling to you to divorce your spouse and to stop disciplining your children.

But what I’m saying is that looking holy, or even acting holy, by whatever outward standards of dress and behavior any given religion teaches as being acceptable, is not the same as actually being holy.

Here’s how Jesus put it to a group of religious people who considered themselves holy and righteous:

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside, but on the inside are full of dead men’s bones and every kind of impurity. In the same way, on the outside you appear to be righteous, but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.” Matthew 23:27-28

Standards of dress and behavior aren’t necessarily a bad thing. But they aren’t the same thing as being holy.

Anyone can dress and look a part in order to fit into whatever section of society they are trying to fit into.

But God sees the heart.

(See also the section titled “Religious Programming” in the book I authored with Carolyn Hamlett to understand a little bit how “standards,” also called “norms,” play a large part in occult infiltration within Christian communities.)

As I grew older, I found out that the Biblical definition of “standards” (not to mention the dictionary definition), and how the Apostolic/Pentecostal church defined “The Standards,” were two completely different things.

I began to notice that there were different “Standards of Holiness” according to whether one attended an Apostolic church or a Pentecostal church, and that even differed slightly, depending upon which pastor was teaching what. And if everyone was saying that their way was the right way, they couldn’t all be right.

So who was right?

As the years passed and the “standards” started to relax somewhat (especially in the Pentecostal churches), I began to realize that what I had been taught about holiness and how it was related to sin, wasn’t exactly set in stone. Eventually, after my own personal Bible study many years later, I realized that the all-important “Standards of Holiness” that I had learned about in church wasn’t what the Bible taught about being holy.

For instance, one small thing I noticed as a child, was that, even though watching television was supposed to be a sin, some of the more affluent members in the churches had televisions that they tried to hide or excuse. This was true for both Apostolics as well as Pentecostals, but more common for Pentecostals.

“We only watch the news and sometimes old black-and-white movies,” I heard one mother say to us during a visit to her home one afternoon, which was a lie that even I could see through as a child, because her three boys were sprawled out on the living room floor, watching cartoons.

But my mother just smiled, and while me and my brother and the other three boys watched as cartoon characters on the television show tried to maim each other in various ways, some talk was made about how to “ignore the bad stuff and just watch the good stuff.”

So, even though I didn’t question much about this double standard back then, it did leave me wondering later why it seemed that God had two sets of rules: one for regular folks, and one for the people who had lots of money and a position of authority in the church, like pastors or elders.

(As I grew even older, I found that to be another double standard when I more clearly understood that the two were connected: the more money a person had, the more influence they exerted within the church.)

Even though we didn’t own a television until well into my teens, after we left the churches, sometimes my Mother brought us to one of the libraries there in San Bernardino, and as she studied for her college classes, my brother and I would watch family movies in the children’s section. Or, I would ask permission and go watch old black-and-white movies or musicals in the larger movie theater that was in the adult’s section.

But since it wasn’t actually television programs my brother and I would watch, and simply movies, it was somehow justified as not being a sin … at least, as not being the same type of sin that having a television set in our house would be.

This is just one small example, though, that could maybe be easily dismissed, except for the fact that it was symptomatic of the greater problem of hypocrisy and unbiblical theology: if sin sent you to Hell, and if watching television was a sin, then why was it okay for some people in the church to sin? Or was it okay for everyone to sin, but only every once in a while? Or were certain things only a sin under certain conditions? What were those conditions? What were the limits of sin and how should this influence our actions and behavior?

Maybe I was in the minority and most people either didn’t care or didn’t need it explained to them, but it was hard for me to understand, especially as I got older and started trying to fit the pieces together.

I remember one weekend I asked Mother some of these questions about sin. I couldn’t have been more than eight or so, maybe ten, but questions about sin and heaven and hell were weighing heavy on me. She told me that she didn’t know, but I should ask the pastor, and so that Sunday morning, after service, I walked up to the pastor and shyly asked him, “Do you sin?”

He looked surprised, and he and the men around him kind of chuckled in that “what a silly kid she is, and what a silly question, but we’ll indulge her anyway” patronizing way that I hated as a kid. He bent down and put his face right in front of mine and asked, “What do you think?” and I knew he probably didn’t really care what I thought, and since I was torn between believing he was probably Jesus’s best version of what a human should be, and believing, on the other hand, that maybe he was a pompous fool who thought he was better than everyone else, I didn’t tell him what I thought.

I couldn’t have put those feeling into words as a child, of course, and even if I would have been able to find the words to express how I had felt, I wouldn’t have put them together for fear of God striking me dead. But that’s how I felt because there was something about him that didn’t seem genuine.

But I didn’t tell him what I thought, and that was that.

As another instance, the standard of dress varied, too. Some churches (usually the Apostolic churches, like the one I was born into) set the standard for women’s dresses to be no shorter than ankle length (although that eventually changed to mid-calf), the sleeve length had to extend to the wrist (although that eventually changed to “below the elbow”), the colors had to be “modest” (meaning, no bright colors or loud prints — although that eventually changed, too), and women always wore pantyhose. Hair was a whole other complicated topic that I won’t even get into right now, but suffice to say, we practically looked like a slightly more modern version of pioneer women.

Don’t get me wrong: there’s nothing wrong with dressing in such a fashion, if one wants… unless such standards of dress are being equated with holiness, with righteousness, and with the salvation of one’s soul. That simply isn’t Biblical.

Other churches, however (like the Pentecostal churches I subsequently attended), had more relaxed dress standards, so that women’s dresses simply had to be below the knee in length, and as long as the dress or blouse wasn’t sleeveless, it was okay. Pantyhose was still considered part of “modest wear,” however, although that eventually changed, too.

When long slits in dresses became a thing, sometime in the mid to late 80’s, I think it was (??), many of the young ladies would wear a tight denim skirt down to their ankles, yet have a slit up the back seam that extended nearly to their rear end. So the “Standards of Holiness” had to be revised from the pulpit again.

Some churches had a very strict “no make-up” standard, but others allowed women to wear make-up as long as it “looked natural” and did nothing to cover up or change what God had naturally given them. Of course, since the person deciding what “looked natural” was generally the pastor, he didn’t usually notice if the gloss had a pink tint, or if the lashes were unnaturally extended with a thin coating of dark mascara, or if the cheeks were slightly rosy from blusher. If he did notice (or if someone brought it to his attention), there was likely to be a sermon on Sunday morning, blasting the women in the church for their “Jezebel makeup” and their spirit of rebellion, lust, disobedience, and whatever else… and reaffirming the “Standards of Holiness” of looking and acting the part of a Pentecostal/Apostolic woman.

Most churches did not allow any jewelry at all, although some allowed wedding bands, but us girls could usually get away with wearing elaborately designed wristwatches, or fancy hair bows with all sorts of ribbons and fake jewels, especially in the Pentecostal churches.

Every church I attended or visited had a very strict “no cutting of hair” for women. But in the 80’s, some of the girls in the UPC churches ratted and teased their hair — and in the 90’s, they began perming their hair — so if they trimmed the ends of their hair, it wasn’t as noticeable, and the excuse was that it just looked shorter because of the hairstyle, or because it had been permed, and not because it had been cut.

The coloring of hair was not allowed, either, but I knew several girls who would use peroxide or lemon juice to lighten up their long (and trimmed) tresses.

Bathing suits were an absolute no-no, but I found out early on that the girls from the more affluent families would don their skimpy little bikinis and lay out in the sun by their swimming pools at home to get that coveted “California tan.”

Most of these “High Holiness Standards” grew more relaxed as I grew older, which was an obvious conflict but one that only seemed to worry me, because since The Standards were supposed to directly correspond with Holiness, that meant that not keeping The Standards was a sin, and since sin was what sent you to Hell, then it stood to reason that not keeping The Standards would send you to Hell. This is what I had been taught in church since birth, so why, I wondered, was it okay for some people to not keep The Standards? Or, was it only okay for people to not keep The Standards if no one knew about it? And as I grew older, that’s exactly what I realized, that the “Standards of Holiness” simply boiled down to this: look and act like an Apostolic, or if you weren’t as strict as an Apostolic (or as holy, which was practically synonymous), then look and act like a Pentecostal.

In public, at least.

As girls (and I’m sure it was the same for the boys), we weren’t taught about what modesty actually meant, or what holiness or righteousness meant according to the Bible. All I knew was that “holiness and righteousness” meant that we “kept The Standards” — that we looked and acted “modest,” by whatever standard was expected according to the pastor at any given church — and the most important thing about being modest (so I was taught) was that modesty was supposed to prevent men from lusting after us young girls. And if they lusted after us anyway, it’s because we weren’t modest enough … and therefore, weren’t holy and righteous enough … because we had somehow failed to “keep The Standards.”

Well, this didn’t prevent me from being raped and molested as a young child, nor did it prevent other girls and boys in the church in SoCal from being raped and molested, and as you might imagine, the logical conclusion to this line of thinking was that if we were being raped and molested, then it was our fault, because we weren’t “godly” or “holy” enough.

Sometimes this was outright preached from the pulpit in sermons that were meant to express the importance of “keeping The Standards of Holiness,” and although the actual words were supposedly geared towards older people, like teen girls and adult women, who were supposed to be modest in order to prevent unwanted sexual attention, the spirit of the message wasn’t lost on me, as a younger child.

This message was most noticeable in practice, however, in that nothing was done to protect anyone from abuse, and Scripture was used

misinterpreted and severely misapplied

to justify this utmost lack of basic moral decency and Godly compassion.

Instead, parents were encouraged to abuse their children, under the guise of a so-called “discipline,” and a blind eyes was turned to bruises and welts and black eyes. I’m sure many still stuck in those churches — or even in that mindset, regardless of religious affiliation — would disagree that their “discipline” is not discipline, but abuse, but I lived it and saw it every day.

Women were supposed to submit to men, and especially to their husband, and so if they had bruises and welts and black eyes, a blind eye was turned to them, too.

(Although this isn’t to say that women can’t be the aggressors, too. For example, while this in no way excuses the abuse Mother received, I saw that many times, she was the one who started the physical altercation to begin with, and then later on, tried to “cry foul,” as if she were innocent.)

So how was I to believe that sexual abuse would be treated any differently?

When I told Mother some of the things that Tom was doing to sexually assault me, she turned a blind eye — and then lied about it later. When I told Mother that Tom’s best friend had kissed me and frightened me with his talk of me being his girlfriend (and that was the least of what he ended up doing), she turned a blind eye, and then beat me when I refused to say that it hadn’t happened.

Why was I to believe that the adults in the church would have done any differently?

I saw and heard enough as a child to know that if a husband was “straying,” it was because his wife hadn’t taken care of him and because the target of his sexual urges beguiled him. It was never his fault, and there was nothing to indicate I should imagine things would be treated differently if the object of the man’s lust happened to be a six or seven or eight year old little girl.

Later, as an adult, when the sexual abuses other children had suffered from the leadership in that SoCal church came to light, I found out that it wasn’t treated differently: the abuse was denied and ignored, and the abuser set free of consequences.

So it was all a very convenient system for sexual predators and violent savages, whether they were male or female. They could go right back to their day jobs as if everything was just fine, go right back to teaching their Sunday School classes and serving in the nursery, go right back to teaching their Bible studies, go right back to playing the piano at church, go right back to singing in the choir, go right back to preaching their sermons, go right back to jumping the pews and dancing in the aisles and speaking in tongues, and go right back to living their lives as they always had: being a good Apostolic Pentecostal man or woman in public, and a perverse deviant and violent abuser in secret.

And so I eventually learned that “The Standards of Holiness” simply meant that we should act like and look like an Apostolic Pentecostal in public.

“Modesty” had nothing whatsoever to do with the heart, but everything to do with how we looked and acted in public.

Standards” had nothing whatsoever to do with Jesus Christ and Him crucified, but everything to do with how we looked and acted in public.

“Holiness” had nothing to do with being found sinless before God because of Jesus Christ, but everything to do with how we looked and acted in public.

“Righteousness” had nothing whatsoever to do with faith in Jesus Christ and being led by His Spirit, but everything to do with how we looked and acted in public.

It didn’t matter that many of the adults in the church were pedophiles and other types of abusers.

As long as they looked holy in public — things like no tattoos or jewelry, short hair and clean shaven faces for men, uncut hair and hair-free legs for women, long pants for men, dresses for women — and acted holy in public — things like going to church every service, paying tithes and plenty of offerings, refraining from saying naughty words (in public, at least), speaking in tongues during service so everyone could hear, and jumping the pews when the Holy Ghost hit — no one really cared.

As long as everyone kept those “Standards of Holiness”

look and act the part

it didn’t matter that there were Satanists and Luciferians sitting in the pews of church every service — or, most services, anyway. No one seemed to notice this, and I often wonder that if they knew now, would they believe it? Or would they choose to dismiss it as the so-called “satanic panic” of the 1980’s that existed only within the imaginations of overwrought children?

In fact, I remember seeing some “Chick Tracts” booklets that belonged to Tom (although later on, I came across them in other places, too), something I had forgotten about until recently, warning people of their cartoon version of Satan.

Although I found them interesting to read because I enjoyed seeing the cartoon pictures, I didn’t get much else out of it, other than wondering why “getting the Holy Ghost with the evidence of speaking in tongues” wasn’t mentioned at all, and instead they talked about “asking Jesus into your heart.” So as a child, I mostly dismissed them as something to not take very seriously, even if they were fun to read and the pictures interesting to look at.

And maybe this seems like it’s off topic, but I want to make a point, so here goes: it’s been a long time since I’ve read Chick Tracts, so in writing this part of my bio, I’ve done a bit of research, and I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m still not a big fan of Chick Tracts.

Yes, I can see their entertainment value, and can appreciate how that helps drive their points home. And I’m not saying they don’t get some things right, or maybe even a lot of things right. And I’m also not saying that people haven’t sincerely been saved or convicted by the content of the tracts.

But putting aside concerns over their eschatology and similar debatable theologies of which I am not smart enough to debate even if I wanted to, there are a number of problems I have with Chick Tracts.

For example, how they illustrate “spiritual warfare” in many of their cartoons ties in with a warrior mentality that is not of God, and a false spiritual warfare that is not Biblical, and can lead the reader to a variety of false conclusions concerning angels and demons.

And I have a big problem with their message of how to receive salvation that ends by instructing people to “invite Jesus into your heart” because this is not taught anywhere in Scripture and is a perversion of what Scripture does teach.

(Click here and here and here to read three blog posts where this subject has already been addressed, and some examples of why this common false doctrine is leading to a dangerous deception.)

Generally speaking, however, my issue with Chick Tracts is that their stuff basically mirrors much of Hollywood’s dramatized version of Satan that has served the overall purpose of making the practice of Satanism — or occultism by whatever form, style, and name it goes by — into a triviality that people are entertained by … or love to be frightened by … or are intrigued by … or scoff at, etc., and it feeds sensationalism and half-truths, which fosters an atmosphere that the demonic thrive in … which is exactly the point for such a theatrical display and which perfectly serves Satan’s plans.

So no, I don’t like “Chick Tracts.”

I’m sure my opinion about this isn’t very popular in some Christian circles (what’s new…? 🙄), and maybe my attitude needs adjusting (probably), and I’m certainly not trying to be contentious or start an argument, and if you disagree with me and find Chick Tracts to be a positive influence, that’s okay, too. But, speaking personally: I get so tired of all the sensationalism and half-truths that so-called “in the know” or “woke” Christians spread, because it leads to nothing good.

Instead, either it turns people off to the truth …

(and fear-mongering is turning people off to the truth of God’s Word, by the way)

… or it turns them on to the lie.

(and half-truths — or even exaggerations of the truth — are lies)

And either way, Satan’s plan is served to turn people away from the Word of God and away from sound Biblical teaching.

So ANYHOO… back to my original thought.

I’m not sure how Tom came to be in possession of a selection of Chick Tracts. I certainly don’t remember their use being approved by our church as appropriate witnessing material, mainly because the soteriology they present doesn’t exactly jibe with UPC doctrine (of course, UPC doctrine about salvation doesn’t agree with the Bible, either, but I didn’t realize that as a child) but who knows? Maybe their use was approved by our church.

Whether or not Tom actually passed the tracts out to others is something I don’t know either. It might have had something to do with the prison ministry he was involved in for at least a while, but again, I don’t know for sure.

But the blatant hypocrisy and false piety displayed by both he and my mother is infuriating … and the fact that this hypocrisy and false piety was encouraged and nurtured within the UPC/Apostolic churches is infuriating … and it’s also equally infuriated that this type of marriage between hypocrisy and sensationalism (as exemplified by Tom and his Chick Tracts) has played a huge part in contributing to the overall false narrative behind the so-called “satanic panic.”

So, Mother knew Tom’s little secret, of course, that he hid behind feigned righteousness and cartoon tracts, but she hid behind a similar mask of hypocrisy. And although she might have started off as some version of a Satanist as well (and since she took me to my first Satanic ritual, and then later, took part in introducing me to a few prominent and self-described Satanists — see chapter 5, chapter 6, and chapter 7 of my bio — this seems like the logical conclusion, although I have no doubt she would sanctimoniously protest, along with all the other “satanic-panic” subscribers), I get the feeling, in thinking back, that she was/is more into religion as a matter of convenience, so if she ever identified, even privately, as a Satanist, I don’t think she was a devout Satanist any more than she was a devout Pentecostal — in fact, when she thought no one was noticing, she had the tendency to look down her nose at Pentecostals, even when she was one — and her beliefs eventually gave way to Luciferianism, which, on the surface, certainly seems less complicated and more pleasant than being a Satanist.

And easier to hide.

But I’m not sure. It’s very likely that she always held to Luciferian values — that ran in the family, after all — and was only compelled, for reasons I will likely never know, to marry a Satanist who hid behind his Pentecostal playacting, and to occasionally associate with other Satanists who, unlike my stepfather and mother, were very open about their religious/spiritual beliefs, even if they did hide the ugly parts behind the lies of the “satanic panic” that conveniently served as a cover of protection for them.

Regardless, being a “Christian” was always the mask Mother wore, though, and most people are still fooled by her hypocrisy.

These are but a sampling of my experiences as a child concerning the hypocrisy and sin within churches that belong to only two of the many Protestant denominations: Apostolic and the UPCI. There’s no need to continue to belabor the point, but besides the well-publicized cases of sexual abuse and other hypocrisies within Roman Catholic churches, there are tons more of examples from many more people of the false doctrines and hidden sins that are flourishing within Protestant churches, whether it’s sexual abuse or not, everyone from other independent charismatic, so-called “full-gospel,” Pentecostal-style churches, to Baptist churches, Episcopal churches, Lutheran churches, Church of Christ churches, etc.

(I’m not at all familiar with Eastern Orthodox, Oriental Orthodox, or Anglican traditions, but unless they are divisions of Christianity whose churches exist on a part of Earth that has no problem with sin and moral degeneration, then I have no doubt that they, too, are rife with sin and hypocrisy.)

So given the sin and false doctrines that are thriving in the churches today, why do some Christians (pastors, even!!) act as if Satan is not a sentient being who has a plan that he has been working for a LONG time now, to infiltrate and infect people — and churches are made up of people… and pastors are people, too! — with the very sin and false doctrines that plague the churches today?

Is it because they have been desensitized or brainwashed by the purposeful satanic agenda that drives the Hollywood version of Satan? Or have they been fooled by the flip side of the coin, and have come to the belief that it’s a topic that should be downplayed or downright avoided?

Even of those Christians who do know the demonic exist and of their threat, some of them act as if they and their congregations or Christian groups are exempt from their attack or influence. Maybe they don’t say that. In fact, I’ve heard some say just the opposite.

But the way they live their lives and conduct their business is contradictory to their declarations.

Have they been desensitized, too, to an extent? Or do they not take the topic seriously because they can’t see into the supernatural? Is it because they are arrogant and prideful? Or maybe they can’t see how their unrepentant, hidden sin has left a door wide open for the demonic to ruin them, their family, and the churches they pastor…?

I’m sure the answers to these questions vary, depending upon the person and the situation … but still I wonder, after taking even a cursory look around at the state of “the church” today (or, what passes for “the church”), how can anyone believe they are exempt from demonic attack and demonic infiltration? The unrepentant sin and the hypocrisy and the pride and the false doctrines that have taken over the churches — indeed, the false doctrines that are foundational to the very existence of many churches — certainly doesn’t come from the Spirit of God!

And I’m not talking about having differences in opinions over what could be considered beliefs that are “non-essential” to our faith in the grace of God through Jesus Christ.

And I’m not talking about unbelievers trying to “clean themselves up” before they submit to God in order to make themselves “worthy” of salvation and to be “more presentable” so they can be allowed to attend their local churches.

And I’m not talking about believers trying to somehow “keep” or “earn” salvation through works, rather than continue on by the grace of God Who does the work within.

And pardon me while I get up on my soap box for a moment …

(but my blog, my rules 😅)

… but I’m talking about the literal occult doctrines and practices that prevail in Christian churches today, and the unaddressed, unrepentant sin and absolute filth that has taken over the lives of self-proclaimed Christians and Christian groups.

I’m talking about the greedy and the gluttonous and the prideful and the swindlers and gossipers and backbiters and liars and thieves and slanderers and narcissists and who claim to be “Christian,” some who maybe preach in the pulpits or serve as deacons or who sit in the same spot of the same pew every service, enjoying fellowship with their fellow “Country Club Christian” elites, clapping their hands in time with the music, saying “Amen” at the appropriate times during the watered-down, feel-good sermons — or the emotionally-charged, fire and brimstone sermons — and maybe even filling the offering plate with a wad of money, and who go home, full of self-satisfaction over having done their Christian duty of attending service that week, with not an ounce of conviction over the pain they cause others and the unrepented sin they indulge in when they think no one is looking.

I’m talking about the drug addicts and the alcoholics who either hide their sin out of shame, unable to pull themselves from the tangled web of addiction that they have found themselves tied up in, who desperately need to know, but don’t know in spite of going to church every single service, that Jesus Christ already made possible their deliverance, and that when they submit to the working of His Spirit within, freedom will be found … or who maybe make jokes about their addictions with their fellow group of church-goers — maybe the music minister or the Sunday School teacher or even the pastor — as they party and get drunk or high before they have to go to church the next morning and sing praise and worship songs on the music team, dressed up in their Sunday best, smiling and laughing to hide the pain that burdens them down every single day and night.

Or who both hide and m

I’m talking about the heinous abuses that are covered up in many churches today, either outright or through ungodly and unbiblical doctrines that exalt the oppressor and subjugate the weak — perhaps most noticeably women and children, but even young boys eventually grow up into men, some of who continue to be oppressed — enslaving them through false doctrines that place heavy burdens upon their backs that God never meant for them to carry.

“Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

Jesus, as recorded in Matthew 11:28-30

I’m talking about pastors and teachers and prophets who rail at homosexuality and sexual deviancy in the world, yet who refuses to address the blatant sexual impropriety and deviancy within their own churches: not just sex between consenting adults who aren’t married, or the swinging parties, or the countless adulterous relationships that everyone knows about, but brushes under the rug … but also the Pentecostal Sunday school teacher who is raping the teen boys in his class … the Apostolic grandfather who for years gets away with fondling his daughters and granddaughters because “he doesn’t mean anything by it,” until it comes out much later, after the FBI opens an investigation, that he’s been involved in a child pornography ring for a long time… the Presbyterian music minister who, while everyone knows is gay (but “don’t ask don’t tell”), not everyone knows that he is actively pursing a fourteen year old boy he just met, trying to lure him into a sexual relationship … the Baptist deacon who rapes his two daughters and son for years, and when he’s finally caught, he is “counseled” by his pastor, where it is decided that “Satan made him do it,” and he is proclaimed “delivered,” and some time later, he then goes on to pastor his own church, all the while, continuing to molest his children … the Charismatic life-coach who is demon possessed and filled with all manner of lust and deviancy that few notice, in part because he uses witchcraft to prey upon some of his clients in supernatural ways, not only attempting to lure some of his female clients into sexual relationships in the astral, but by using the same sorcery he publicly claims to deliver people from, he also takes over the body of a willing man in the physical to engage one of his clients who he has convinced is his “spiritual wife” … the Christian psychologist, who is neither a Christian nor a psychologist, who regularly uses hypnotism and mind-control techniques with some of his clients, and who sexually abuses at least one, afterwards using his position, of course, to threaten and try to silence his victim … the “Christian” man who makes no attempt to hide his affinity for occultism and astral travel, and who lies about himself and his past by using the testimonies of survivors of mind-control agendas as if they were his own, who infiltrates support groups for actual survivors and tries to lure some of the females within the groups into sexual relationships in the astral … the well-loved (by some, anyway) Christian pastor, who has convinced many that he’s qualified to counsel those with D.I.D., and who, under the guise of “healing” and “memory work,” insists, among other things, that a client visualize things such as beating “the shit” out of Jesus, or to visualize Jesus performing oral sex … the professional musician and music teacher who gets upset at his Baptist pastor for things like not taking a stand against celebrating Easter and Christmas, yet who uses his teaching studio as a “power base” to hypnotize some of his female students into various types of fantasy and sexual relationships … etc.

I’m talking about the doctrines of men and of demons that make self-righteousness to be righteousness, that turn hypocrisy into holiness, and that glorify not God but self. That make a mockery of and try to usurp the work of Jesus Christ and His Spirit. That twist and misuse the Word of God to be used as an excuse to wallow in one’s own corruption, and in many cases, to be used as a spell for one’s own benefit and exaltation, usually at the expense of others.

I’m talking about the mind-control programmers and the practitioners of sorcery who use a Christian platform to build their careers and false reputations on the backs of the unsuspecting, the weak, and the downtrodden.

I’m talking about the Satanists who feel comfortable warming church pews and preaching from the pulpit, and the Luciferians who are part of the music team and who serve on the board of elders.

These are the types of things, and so much more, that I’m talking about. Things that should never be ignored or unaddressed in Christian circles. Things that, were pastors and teachers and “prophets” doing their jobs and preaching the actual and correctly interpreted Word of God, then the unrepented sin that is rotting the churches from within would be rooted out, and either false Christians would fall on their face in repentance, and those who are bound by Satan would be freed, and thus they would be reconciled to the Father, or they would leave. Because demons aren’t comfortable in an environment where the Spirit of God is working and moving through the preaching of His Word.

Yet, many pastors and teachers and prophets don’t do their jobs.

And sin and false doctrines multiply, as the Word of God tells us that it will.

In spite of all of this — in spite of the fact that the work of the demonic is proven by the rotten, revolting fruit that it has borne — some Christians act as if Satan (or Lucifer … same thing) is not a sentient being who has a plan of deception that he has been working for very long time.

Now, I don’t believe every sermon or Bible study should be spent talking about or studying the demonic. That’s absurd.

But to ignore the reality …? Or to avoid talking about it …? Or to talk about it in such a way that is not Biblical, either overplaying or underplaying the reality of the demonic … ?

That’s just as absurd.

Admittedly, sometimes it can be a very tough line to walk, between talking about things that need to be talked about, but without over-talking it in such a way as to sensationalize it, or to put the focus on it. I understand this. But I think rational-minded Christians can do just that. I don’t think it’s an impossible task.

Here’s my observation, and perhaps you, the reader, would disagree with me … or perhaps you have something different to add based upon your own observations … but from what I’ve noticed, when it comes to confronting the topic of demons, an increasing number of blinded or duped Christians have the tendency to fall into one of two categories to varying degrees (and this is not including those false “Christians” who know the truth, yet are purposefully leading people astray):

1) “Chick-Tract” Christians, or its counterpart, the “Hollywood” Christians, whereby the reality of the demonic has become “cartoon-ized” (yes, I just made up that word) and sensationalized to the point of absurdity, and the subject virtually (or actually) treated as if it’s either something to be overly fearful of, or as if it’s another gospel that everyone should study to the point of intimate familiarity;

2) or the “Satanic Panic” Christians, whereby the reality of the demonic is downright ignored … or so incredibly downplayed to the point where the demonic are characterized as weak and ineffectual — practically symbols of evil and fear (it’s ironic that some Luciferians and lower-level Satanists, by whatever name they go by, believe similarly) that exist only within the minds of those who are easily influenced … etc.

Both of these camps have been used by the demonic — and I would go a step further and say the demonic have used their influence to create and encourage both sides — for different reasons, one being because it makes it easier for them to go about their business, undetected, within the churches and in the lives of Christians, without anyone being the wiser.

So, understanding that sin and false doctrines are not the working of the Spirit of God, I’ll go back to my original question: is the current pitiful and hypocritical state of many churches today the result of demonic infiltration? Or is demonic infiltration the result of the sin and false doctrines and hypocrisy so many have refused to repent of?

I hope this little blog article helps explain that the answer is both. And it all boils down to a failure of Christians to line everything up — actions, words, attitudes, hearts, minds, etc. — with God’s Word.

Dissociation, Programming, and Early Training

Before I get into my experiences, I need to explain something about why I had these experiences.

I have already talked some about the mind-control programming I was forced into as a child. Not a lot, really, I don’t think. It’s a painful thing to talk about, and even though hardly a day goes by where I’m not haunted by one thing or the other because of past programming, and even though some days I have to squash the urge to go on and on about it, in what might be an attempt to exorcise all the awful thoughts by purging them, one-by-one, in all their gruesome detail until they are all gone, I try to not bring it up overly much and to just keep my thoughts about it relegated mostly to this ongoing bio. But I think I’ve shared enough about it here and there in my writings for people to understand where I’m coming from when I say “mind-control programming.”

So without going into a lot of detail again, in thinking back over specific experiences I had as a child, I can see that the mind-control programming I was forced into was related to other specific experiences, either directly or indirectly.

For example, the day I was trained in infiltration — something I’ll share in a moment — is one of those events that was most definitely related to mind-control programming.

Well… the first day I remember being trained in church infiltration, at any rate, because I went through a lot of programming as a child that trained me specifically in regards to astral spying, but right now I can only remember the one time as a child where such training was specific to churches.

One of the consequences of the programming — maybe even the whole point of it, really, especially for kids like me who were trained for specific assignments in the astral — was that I learned to be “in tune” with things that were happening outside the physical.

I’m not even sure if “outside the physical” is necessarily how it should be worded, although it is a correct phrase to use sometimes. But “surrounding and layered on top of the physical” might be more accurate in some cases, depending upon whether one is talking about seeing what is happening in the spiritual realm while still being inside and aware of this earthly dimension, or seeing into — or being in — another realm altogether.

There are different ways to describe this “seeing”, and it would all depend upon the situation, but however it’s described, I learned to see and hear things that other people around me couldn’t.

Not always. I didn’t walk around always seeing and hearing things from the spiritual realm. But sometimes I did. It wasn’t something I could control, and because of dissociation that had been caused by ongoing abuse, I probably would have been able to see and hear those things anyway.

The flip side of this, however, is that when I did see or experience these things, I would often forget about them immediately afterwards, because the same dissociation that made it easier for me to have those spiritual experiences, also made it more difficult to remember them afterwards.

(And by the way, the healing process for those of us who are dissociative often involves remembering those things that have been forgotten. But once it has been remember, it is important to submit those things to the Father, and to submit ourselves to the Father, who is the One who heals us. I wrote about this process in the book I wrote with Carolyn, in the chapter titled “Finding Freedom.”)

This is one thing about dissociation that I think is probably overlooked, that the tendency to have spiritual experiences, to one extent or another, can be exacerbated by dissociation.

No, I haven’t spoken to every dissociative person in the world, nor have I researched extensively into the topic, but my opinion is based upon my experiences, my observations, and my understanding of occult doctrine and how it relates to dissociation. For example, sometimes people who are not normally dissociative seek out a temporary dissociation in order to have spiritual experiences, such as with meditation; and people who are dissociative sometimes have an easier time being in touch with what is sometimes described as “the spirit world.”

And this is why I argue that one reason why the demonic are pushing their agenda behind practices that cause dissociation (by whatever name is being used to describe this dissociation, such as “disconnection” or “detachment”), including various forms of meditation, as well as different types of mind-control programming, are because it opens a doorway to the spirit world, where the individual is more likely to receive communication from, guidance from, influence from (etc.) the demonic.

Not God, or a type of “god” or “goddess,” either within or without, as many occultists might argue, because the way to the only One and True God is through JESUS CHRIST, not through meditation … or through one’s self… or through whatever other method or medium people might try to use.

I’ve shared my opinion about this a few times, in so many words, most notably within my “Meditation and Yoga” article, but I never came across anyone else whose own thoughts ran along the same lines as my own, until, while in the process of writing this part of my bio, I came across a woman, Louisa Watt, who had linked on her YouTube channel to the book Carolyn and I have written (the stats on Carolyn’s and my website clued me into this fact).

Perusing a little bit though Ms. Watt’s website, I came across one of her articles where she posits pretty much the same thing, except she was able to find a paper written by experts on the subject (something I hadn’t been able to do before, but maybe I just didn’t look hard enough) that seems to support the conclusions I have concerning New Age (occult) practices and dissociation. You can read Ms. Watt’s blog article on this topic here: “Disorganised Attachment, Dissociative Disorder and New Age Practices.”

⇒ Note: please be aware of my disclaimer number 2.

But anyway, regardless of what the experts say or don’t say, mind-control programming, which purposefully induced dissociation for the purposes of such programming, probably made it more common for me to have spiritual experiences as a child, especially since, no matter who was physically involved in the programming, ultimately the demonic were in charge of the entire process. Furthermore, during parts of the programming, demons literally placed themselves within parts of my psyche (I’m not sure how to word this, so I’m sorry if “psyche” is the wrong words) so that they were in charge of various parts of me, but without me being consciously aware of that demonic control.

In the middle of all this programming that was taking place as a child, at some point I was assigned a “spiritual mentor” … or mentors, to be a bit more precise.

Now, as I’ve mentioned before, there was one particular spiritual being, a so-called “Ascended Master,” that I remember from a very young age — possibly from before the mind-control programming took place, but I’m not entirely sure right now — but I wouldn’t call him a “mentor.”

(This might sound odd to those who don’t understand about dissociation, but to be clear, I didn’t consciously know the title “Ascended Master” or similar titles until several years ago. All of the teachings I was given as a child by such beings were when I was in a dissociated state and I was switched to another part of me. So growing up, the spiritual beings that I remember interacting with, I would have called “that man” or “that woman” or “an angel” … or, depending upon the form they took, maybe “monster,” “ghost,” “that funny-looking thing over there,” or even “alien” — although I didn’t have an understanding of the word “alien” until I was in my teens, and even then, it was the Hollywood version of “alien,” and not a true understanding of the demonic beings that they are.)

I wrote a teensy bit about this in another blog post, “Luciferianism, Occult Training, and Dispelling Some Misunderstandings,” but to reiterate, he had a very young face, but his long white hair and long white beard made him look sort of like an old man, even though his youthful, smooth face made him look like a very young man. And … I know this sounds silly (which is why I haven’t mentioned it before now), but he reminded me of Merlin.

You know, the wizard, Merlin, from the whole “King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table” thing…?


So ridiculously absurd….

Whatever his name, though, I was brought to him sometimes, along with some other children, around a dozen or so of us, maybe more. We were “Children of the Light” or “Children of the White.” Or something like that. Or both. I can’t recall exactly, and I’m not sure I want to recall, because even though it wasn’t ME me who was there, but a PART of me that I was dissociated from, it’s painful to think about these types of things, because I know that, ultimately, it was me who was there.

(yeah … it’s confusing to me, too)

The pain is made worse because, even though I very much want to warn Christians of the types of things that are leading to them being deceived by demons who are disguised as “angels of light,” and to warn Christians about the things that are leading them into being deluded by demonic doctrines that may feel good and sound good but that are not good, writing about it or talking about it has a tendency to stir up unresolved issues — some of which will probably never be resolved, and isn’t that a depressing thought! — and stir up the parts of me who were involved in such things and who are not yet submitted to God and to His Will, and who very much have their identity and purpose tied up in things that I know are not of God… and when I remember and start talking about it (or writing about it), I begin to once again struggle from within.

And sometimes I get tired of struggling.


But when I remember to do what I have learned from God’s Word — and sometimes I forget to do this right away, so sometimes I struggle for longer than I have to — and very simply and verbally by faith submit myself and every part of myself to Him and to His Will, then it stops feeling like such a inward struggle and there is peace once again.

I don’t call every part of myself out by name. That would be onerous and impossible, and that’s not what I mean, anyway. What I mean is that I usually say, “Heavenly Father, I submit myself and every part of myself to You and to Your Will.” Or something like that.

That’s it. Simple.

And I guess I’m off topic.



Sorry ’bout that.

Anyway, so this fellow wore a long plain robe — white, I think it was — with embroidered designs on the inside — or maybe it was along the hem, I can’t recall for sure, but I don’t suppose it matters anyhow — and a golden belt. But sometimes he wore a different robe, full and dark blue in color, and he donned a tall pointed hat, dark blue to match his robe and decorated with embroidered stars. It made us giggle because it made him look silly.

He taught us — myself and the other children — things from the book that he carried with him, about dimensions and evolution and creation and whatnot.

In spite of this, however, I wouldn’t go so far as to call him a spiritual mentor, because I don’t believe I was around him for a long period of time. He could maybe be considered more of a temporary “teacher” than anything, but I wouldn’t classify him as a “mentor,” although who know? Maybe he technically was. I don’t suppose it matters anymore, anyway.

But by saying that I was “assigned a mentor,” I mean that there was a woman — probably not human, but I’m not sure — who regularly came to me in the spiritual and showed me things, one-on-one … taught me things that I wouldn’t have otherwise known.

She sometimes worked with a being who took on the appearance of a man, and although he, as with the woman, could have been human, I have my doubts about him, too. He was quite handsome, and he could “act nice” when he wanted to, but sometimes he said mean things, and his eyes were cruel, and I don’t believe he liked me very much.

I didn’t like him very much either.

As usual, I don’t remember his name. I remember very few of their names, maybe because of the aforementioned dissociation, but maybe because I’m just really bad at remembering names. 😅 But considering that they can sometimes go by different names at different times, names aren’t always helpful.

At any rate, the man and the woman were the ones who tried to teach me — the me who was “out” most of the time — to not be afraid to astral travel, as I’ve already talked about some. After a while, I don’t remember seeing them anymore, and I was transferred to someone else, but several years ago, when the programming started breaking down, they showed up again. The so-called “deliverance counseling” I was going through at the time didn’t actually get rid of them, of course — in fact, it’s probably what signaled them to come back, because such “deliverance” was literally acting as programming, keeping me tied up with the demonic instead of setting me free. But after God opened my eyes and delivered me from my deception, and I started submitting to Him, He set me free.

Additionally, beginning in my mid teens (ish), I had a “mentor,” I guess you could call her (maybe “leader” would be a better word…? supervisor…?) who was in charge of our group of infiltrators who would travel in the astral to infiltrate churches, and she was around for many years, too, until God delivered me. I’ve never met her in the physical (that I’m cognizant of, anyway), and it’s possible that she, too, was a demonic being who took the form of a woman, but I think she was/is a human woman.

Now for some example of what I’ve experienced concerning demons and demonic activity within churches and church groups.

Example One: Demon Possession… or Playacting?

Putting aside, for a moment, some of my early experiences with demons outside of church that I’ve already written about (for example, see “Birthdays and Rituals“), my earliest memory of seeing the work of a demonic spirit in church was when I was just a few years old. Or, well… with what was supposed to have been a demonic spirit.

I couldn’t have been older than six, although it is possible that what I remember happening occurred during a subsequent visit to my hometown in west Texas after we had already moved away to San Bernardino, and we moved away when I was around six or seven. But when I think back on this event, I feel as if I was very young — around four or five at the most.

That doesn’t mean too much, however, because dissociation could have me feeling as if I were a different age than I actually was, so maybe I was older than I’m remembering ….

But regardless of how old I was, I remember a particular service — and I don’t even think we were at our regular church in west Texas, but I’m not sure of that detail — when one young lady started acting strangely, as if she were manifesting demons.

I don’t recall seeing her behavior from the start, and I wasn’t aware, at first, of what was going on, but what I remember is that there was a sudden flurry of confusing activity as she was rushed out of the main sanctuary and into a smaller room — the “cry room,” I think it’s called — a trail of men and women following, praying and hollering and babbling in tongues.

I stood near the open doorway of the room with my older cousin, Diana (not her real name), and a few of the other younger children, eyes bugging and mouth gaping, and watched as the men of the church surrounded the young lady’s convulsing body, “laid” their hands on her (in other words, hit her forcibly with their open palms on whatever part of her head they were able to reach), and with a lot of words and a bunch of screaming and hollering, commanded Satan to come out of her. Several of the women hung out on the outer edges and joined in the general confusion by screaming in tongues, and I remember feeling alarmed that the adults were having such a hard time making Satan leave. I figured maybe Satan was taking his time coming out because he was comfortable and didn’t feel like leaving, although I couldn’t imagine, at the time, why he was so comfortable with all that hollering and screaming and hitting going on.

After what seemed to be a long time, but was probably only a couple of minutes, the adults noticed Diana and I standing there, and a woman in the church — I think it was Diana’s mother, the only aunt of mine who attended that church — pulled us out of the doorway and scolded us.

One of the ladies in the room gave us a sharp look and slammed the door in our faces.

Someone — I can’t recall who — warned us that the demons would jump on us if we didn’t get out of the way, and only people who were “filled with the Holy Ghost” should be in the room.

I had the Holy Ghost at that point, but I didn’t know how “filled up” I was, and I sure didn’t want to be in that room in case I wasn’t filled up enough to keep Satan out. I was glad that woman had shut the door so that whenever Satan finally decided to leave, he couldn’t come out of the room and jump into me.

Mostly content to hang outside the room and keep an eye on the goings-on through the long window that separated us from all the melee, I sat in a pew with my cousin and one of our friends, going back and forth between hoping and praying that Satan would hurry up and leave, and exchanging gossipy speculation as to how it might have happened and what was going to happen next. I hadn’t remembered seeing a demon cast out before, but we had all heard a few good stories about it in church — like a kind of “boogeyman” story that we loved to be scared by — and so, caught up in a type of fearful fascination, I was torn between thinking it was the most awful thing that could happen to a person, and thinking that it was the most awfully interesting thing that could happen to a person.

After a few minutes, Diana apparently started getting bored, and began making faces, choking and coughing, shaking her body and pretending like she was being possessed by a demon. I ignored her at first, because I had already learned that Diana liked to do shocking things to get attention, and then make fun of me later on for being fooled. But as the moments ticked by and Diana kept shaking and choking and rolling her eyes all around, I became alarmed, wondering if she really had been possessed.

I rushed to tell my aunt what was going on, and soon afterwards, my uncle came rushing out of the room, grabbed Diana by the arm, gave her a quick shake and a few smacks across her bottom, then dragged her off. When she came back some time later, eyes red and swollen, she was made to apologize for scaring me, but after her parents’ attention was diverted again, she started whispering to me that something bad had happened to her.

I’m not sure how things finally ended that day with the young woman who had supposedly been possessed by Satan, but the screaming and hollering and babbling in tongues went on for some time, until Mother finally came and got me, and we went home.

I didn’t know if I felt disappointed that we were leaving, or relieved.

Afterwards, it seemed to me that some of the others children acted as if the young lady who had been “possessed” had achieved some type of celebrity status, in a strange way, and while I didn’t envy her the “Satan” part, I did wish that my cousin wouldn’t act like she was her best friend all the sudden. But Diana was wishy-washy like that all the time.

In writing this and thinking back over everything, I realize now that I had an awfully cavalier attitude towards the whole affair.

At the time, I didn’t understand the seriousness of what was taking place — or what was supposed to have been taking place, because I also have a feeling that the young woman had been putting on a show for the attention it got her. Like my cousin had tried to do, but more persuasively.

There’s no excuse for my attitude about it, and in remembering this and in writing it down, I’ve taken the time to repent and ask God to forgive me, but it just wasn’t something that was taken seriously. When that type of demon manifestation occurred — were it to have actually been an actual demonic manifestation, of course — it occurred in the greater context of a service that was all about emotion and experiences and expected manifestations of whatever sort. A demonic manifestation was treated as an extra, unexpected bit of entertainment so that the adults in the church could feel good about themselves — righteous, even — as they “cast out Satan” and tell each other later, “Wow, that was some service, wasn’t it?” It was treated as if it were an opportunity to prove that we had the power of the Holy Ghost, because we were “casting out demons,” as if we were reading off Mark 16:17 and checking off of our list of “things we do when we are ‘one God, Apostolic, tongue-talking, holy rollin’, born again, heaven-bound believers in the liberating power of Jesus’ name’ Pentecostals: drive out demons, check; speak in tongues, check; heal the sick, check.

(We ignored the part about picking up snakes and drinking poison, of course, because … yuck. Only whackos did that. So I was taught.)

So in a perverse sort of way, demons showing up in church (or what were thought to be demons) was proof of the Holy Ghost showing up.

And doesn’t that speak volumes?

Regardless, that’s my first experience with a demon in a church — or, at the least, with what everyone said was a demon — and the first memory I have of “rebuking, binding, and casting out”: a bunch of ineffective, yet morbidly fascinating, babbling and screaming and hollering and dancing around, and all over what was likely a show put on by a young woman who was probably in need of Godly counseling and professional therapy, but who probably wasn’t actually demon possessed.

But maybe she had been. I’m not really sure.

Example Two: A Demonic Consecration

This next experience happened when I was a little bit older, probably around seven or so, and I know for certain that I was older, because we had already moved to San Bernardino, and we didn’t move there until I was around six or seven.

This was also, of course, after I had started going through mind-control programming, which certainly explains why it had happened.

A sister church somewhere in a neighboring city there in SoCal was holding special services. It was a consecration service, which basically meant it was new church that was being “consecrated,” or dedicated, to the Holy Ghost (well… presumably to the Holy Ghost), almost like babies are when they’re little, except it was a church. And so, they were holding a series of special services every night for several nights in a row to celebrate their new church.

Several of us went to visit during one of their services, sort of like representatives, to join in their celebrations. I’m assuming the reason my mother and I went (and my brother, too, I believe) is because Mother played the piano/organ for our church, and this probably had something to do with her going, too. I’m not entirely certain, though, but this seems the most likely, since I remember Mother playing the organ (or maybe it was a piano) during the consecration service.

There was a lot of talk about “Azusa Street” on the way over there, and while we were there, too, most of which I didn’t really understand, but I knew enough to know people were excited about it and that it was somehow a magical and powerful thing that they were talking about. Of course, there was a lot of preaching about the Holy Ghost, too, which always got everyone fired up, including me, usually.

I’m not sure exactly when it was during the service that I started noticing something was different, whether it was before children’s service or afterwards, but at some point, I noticed a beautiful woman in a long black dress with her dark hair loosely piled up on top of her head, walking up and down the aisles, and even between the packed pews, almost casually, touching everything and everyone she passed. It was apparent that no one else could see her, though, because no one was reacting to her presence or to her strange actions or to her touch, so I stayed quiet and just watched, curious about what she was doing and why.

After a few minutes, she made eye-contact with me, which startled me, and I looked away quickly, pretending that I hadn’t been staring at her.

By this time, the service had gotten to the part where everyone was starting to get excited with a lot of boisterous praying and speaking in tongues, but the woman continued to walk up and down the aisles, back and forth in front of the preacher, pacing along the width of the alter, touching everything and everyone she could.

She caught my eye again and beckoned to me to follow her. I can’t recall everything she said, word-for-word (and no, the conversation between her and I wasn’t vocal… it was telepathic, and something I did with my mother, sometimes, too, so I didn’t see anything wrong with it at the time), but she basically told me that everything was going to be okay, that she wasn’t going to hurt me, and she wanted to show me something — teach me something.

I told her that I couldn’t follow her because I would get in trouble for getting out of my seat.

She gave me a look that told me, without need of words (or thoughts), what she thought of that measly excuse.

Now, I had been trained at home, at church, and in the programming chair to be obedient to adults, no matter the situation, unless someone in charge — such as Mother or one of the programmers — had outright expressed a command or an expectation to the contrary. But while I didn’t want to be rude or disobedient to the woman, I was reluctant to follow her because I knew something about it was wrong.

Yet, the parts of me who were curious and wanted to do it anyway, pulled closer to the front, and I closed my eyes and focused my thoughts to link with hers, until I could feel myself starting to get that familiar “float-y,” dissociated feeling. When I opened my eyes again, I had left my body sitting on the pew and was walking the aisles with the woman. This time, however, I could see what looked like fire that was coming from the palms of her hands, like trails of white and red flame spreading its light everywhere she touched.

I noticed, too, a dark mist rising up from the floor of the sanctuary, and shadows flitting and lurking about, weaving their way in between the people who were shouting and crying and praying and speaking in tongues.

I asked the woman about them, but she told me not to worry about them, to not pay attention to them, and that they wouldn’t hurt me as long as I left them alone. She told me to not think about them, but to instead think of the “light.”

Then she gave me a short lesson, demonstrating how to create the energy-fire from inside of me, and how to push it out from my hands and spread it around.

In thinking back, I’ve thought it possible that she was my first mentor: the woman who tried to teach me to not be afraid of astral traveling. Or even the subsequent woman who supervised our group of infiltrators. But I’m not really sure. And it doesn’t really matter one way or the other. All that matters is that God delivered me from it.

Example Three: a Demon-Possessed Pastor…?

In the church we attended after we moved to Roswell, New Mexico, the pastor there — not my uncle, who pastored there for a while, but the man who took his place — apparently had a problem with lust (and with anger, as I came to realize), and this came to light one morning when he flat out accused me of not being modest enough because my skirt only came to right below my knees and he said that I was trying to attract male attention by enticing them to look at my panties.

No matter that my dress length was in keeping with The Standards of that particular church, and was no shorter than what his own wife and sister-in-law would wear at times.

I hated the dress anyway. It was a boxy and purple knit dress with white horizontal stripes, and it did nothing to accentuate my blossoming curves in a flattering way (I was around 13 at the time). It looked awful on me, I was uncomfortable wearing it, and I did feel as if it were too short. I had no choice but to wear it, however, because Mother had worked hard to sew a longer hem onto it: a six-inch-wide strip of white knit fabric that I thought made the dress look even worse, but, of course, I lied and told Mother it looked wonderful, and that Sunday morning, Mother had insisted I wear it to church.

So being accused that morning — and by the pastor, no less! — of wearing that ugly dress just so I could entice men to lust after me was mortifying. I wondered how could I have enticed men to lust after me — if I even had wanted to do such a thing, and I didn’t — by wearing a dress that I hated and that made me look so ugly? I felt ashamed, embarrassed, and awfully conspicuous, and I felt like I was being accused of being a slut. I was miserable and just wanted to disappear down one of the cracks in the linoleum floor.

Mother exchanged some heated words with him, and while they were arguing and the pastor was gesturing angrily towards me and my “immodest” dress, the weirdest thing happened. Odd, yet strangely familiar in a way that I couldn’t put my finger on at the time.

(It was strangely familiar, because I felt as if something similar had happened to me before. But since I was extremely dissociative and hadn’t yet remembered those experiences — as I’ve already mentioned, for years I hardly remembered anything from my childhood — I didn’t understand why I felt that way.)

Without warning, the physical faded away away and I was pulled into the spiritual, feeling myself seemingly grow taller and taller, watching in baffled amazement as the pastor seemed to shrink down, inch-by-inch, until he looked like a fat, hairless, naked, two-foot-tall funny-looking creature with a face that was bright red and twisted from anger, jumping up and down, hopping back and forth from foot to foot, pumping his fists in the air, and screaming obscenities at me with as much volume as his teensy-tiny voice could muster (which wasn’t much).

I realize now that what probably happened is that, since I was dissociating, I was pulling away from my body, and as I was, it was giving me the sensation of getting larger, while it looked as if the pastor-turned-creature was getting smaller. Regardless, it looked so odd at the time that I laughed.

It was too bizarre to not laugh.

It wasn’t the best reaction, I’m aware now, and apparently my laughter startled the odd thing because he abruptly stopped his temper tantrum, and stood there, motionless, glaring at me.

I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do then, so I looked away from the creature, uncomfortable, and starting to feel a little frightened that maybe he would try to attack me, but trying to not think about that too much.

The short creature started moving around again, and I think he finally screamed at me to leave him alone, but regardless, I started actively trying to reach my physical body that I knew was somewhere around me so that I could pull myself back into the physical all the way. Within just a few moments, I started shrinking back inside my body. The being slowly faded from sight until he was gone, and when I was all the way in the physical again, I was hearing the last of the conversation Mother was having with the pastor: “So then why are you lusting after my daughter and trying to see her panties?” she was asking, her chin jutting sharply into the air as she glared down at him.

(He wasn’t a very tall man, but he was at least a little taller than Mother … but Mother could look down on anyone when she had a mind to.)

The pastor mumbled something about making sure my dresses were longer in the future, and turned around and walked away, and the confrontation ended.

Mother didn’t always act like a monster.

On the way home, I tried to tell Mother what I had seen, but she was too busy fuming about the confrontation, and brushed aside what I was telling her, seemingly unwilling to discuss it or to even take me seriously.

I realized later on, after personally reflecting about the whole strange event, that the “funny looking creature” must have been some type of demon, but I hadn’t know what to call it before, so it was just “that creature” who had been speaking through my pastor — not necessarily speaking with words, but I had seen that the anger and rage and frustrated lust that my pastor had been expressing with his words was being driven by the raging creature that had been throwing a fit in front of me — and from the distance I had unexpectedly achieved through having had dissociated, it was a demon that almost looked like some sort of Leprechaun, but with a darker complexion.

And no clothes.

So was the pastor demon-possessed?

I’m not sure. I don’t think so. But he was certainly heavily influenced.

Example Four: a Demonic Project and the Grid

The next set of experiences I want to bring up is something that I’ve already discussed briefly in the book I authored with Carolyn in the chapter “Shining Ones.”

As I’ve already mentioned, as a child, I was trained, through mind-control programming, to operate in the astral realm.

I was already dissociative because of extreme, ongoing abuse at home, and the mind-control programming just played off of that existing dissociation and made it easier for me to do certain jobs that the programmer wanted me to do when he commanded to do them — and then to not remember afterwards, of course.

(The healing process kinda makes a mockery of the “not remember afterwards” part, though, now doesn’t it…? Although … that’s probably why the programmers insert suicide programming, so the survivor — assuming they do survive — will kill themselves before remembering what they are not supposed to remember.

But although I’ve tried and have been close to trying a few times, God is more powerful than programming.)

So anyway, one of the jobs I was trained for was astral traveling.

As a child, I thought of it as “flying,” however, because I didn’t know what else to call it.

I’ve already mentioned a little about this before (see: “Mind Control, Parapsychology, and Media Disinformation“), but while I was directly under the influence of the programmers, one of these “jobs” in the astral took on the form of assignments they would give me and the other children I was grouped with — all girls in my group, from what I remember — to infiltrate and spy, in the astral, upon what were supposed to be meetings in another country.

I have doubts now as to whether the meetings were actually what I believed them to be as a child, or whether they were simply training exercises, but to the parts of me who loved to astral travel, it was more of a fun game than anything else, regardless of whether the people we were spying on were “enemies” or not, as we were led to believe. But whatever the truth actually was (and I don’t suppose I’ll ever know), I, as the part of me who was taking part in the astral spy game, believed that these were important meetings that I and the other girls in my groups were supposed to be spying on, and we did what was expected of us: spied on the meetings in the astral, and reported back to our programmer (in my case, that was Dr. A) everything that we could remember, including names, what had been said, what things looked like, color of uniforms… ANYTHING and EVERYTHING that we could remember.

I remember that since I couldn’t speak the native language of the people we were spying on (not that I was aware, at any rate), and since they wouldn’t always speak in English, one particular time I tried very, very hard to memorize the sounds of what was said in this special meeting I was supposed to spy upon, anxious to report back to Dr. A something that would make him happy with me. I think that time I got the sounds right — or at least, mostly right — and he seemed proud of me, one of the few times I remember him expressing pride in me during those particular assignments.

But maybe he was indulging me. Maybe I didn’t get it right. Who knows ….

And anyway, since the article I linked to in the above-mentioned blog post (here it is again: “Mind Control, Parapsychology, and Media Disinformation“) states that this “experiment” in parapsychology was not successful as “scientists” wanted it to be, it seems that nothing of import really came of the little experiment myself and other children were a part of.

Eh …. Okay. Sure. We’ll all keep a straight face and pretend that to be true.


But regardless of the success of that particular parapsychology experiment, “astral spying” was one of the big things that Dr. A trained me for, and this came in handy later on down the road, when I went astral traveling alongside demons and other people like me, to infiltrate churches in the spiritual.

No, Dr. A didn’t train me for “church infiltration.” At least, I don’t think he did. CIA-connected, Military Bigwigs aren’t big on things like that, I wouldn’t imagine. But since the demonic were ultimately in control of the programming anyway, one of the consequences of this “training” was that the demonic ended up using me for their purposes of working in the spirit realms. And since that’s what those specific parts of me had been trained for — to astral travel — it was fine by them.

I started becoming aware of astral traveling to other churches — with other people, alongside demons, and under the direction of fallen angels — sometime in my early twenties. Of course, as mentioned, when I would come back into my body, I would almost immediately forget what had just taken place, and what I could remember were things that I immediately dismissed as not really having happened.

Although I’m no longer involved in the project, of course, I believe this is a project that is still ongoing, and it has its beginning in the early 1980’s, but I didn’t know that until years later. I remember being brought on board in the 90’s.

This project concerned the boundaries and realms of the fallen angels, and it involved them working within those physical realms to increase their influence, to push forward their agenda, and to infiltrate deeper into Christianity as a whole, in order to bring as many as possible into alignment with the spirit of the antichrist.

They had already perfected their method through the charismatic movement that they had already birthed (for example, see “Example Two,” further up), and they were (and still are) using that same method with this project: using physical infiltrators as well as infiltrators in the spiritual, they have been infecting as many Christian groups, churches, ministries, and organizations as possible through the charismatic mindset that causes people to willingly open themselves up to their influence (the influence of the demonic).

To make it clear what was going on, step-by-step, I’ll basically do a copy and paste of some of the specifics that Carolyn and I have already written about:

  1. Fallen angels were brought in from one dimension to another.
  2. The fallen angels then set up bases of operations within the earthly realms and territories they had previously been assigned. (Satan has always had his boundaries of territories — see Matthew 4:8-11 — so the boundaries were not being set up, but the base camps were being set up within those boundaries.)
  3. The boundaries of the territories were laid out like a grid that spanned across the earth; therefore, we [Carolyn and I] refer to these boundaries of territories as simply, “the Grid.”
    • Within each larger territory that the fallen had control over, different existing churches, ministries, or organizations (large or small) were targeted, or new churches, ministries, or organizations were established using existing physical infiltrators, to be used as bases of operations.
    • The fallen angels, and the demons under their authority, would operate out of these Christian churches/ministries/organizations to spread their influence throughout that particular realm. The churches, ministries, and organizations included various Christian denominations, ideally looking for leaders who were gift-motivated and focused on supernatural experiences and manifestations.
  4. The operation then brought in other human infiltrators, both in the supernatural and in the physical, who worked together, under the direction of the demonic, with the following basic goals in mind:
    • to influence people and to inject demonic doctrine in various ways.
      • Carolyn and talked about the different ways they do this throughout our entire book: “Doctrines of Demons: Exposing Christian Witchcraft.”
      • This was particularly easy to do within the charismatic movement, but it was still relatively simple to find leaders of other denominations who were open to the new-age thinking of the supernatural, and who were gift motivated.
    • to encourage people to be focused on supernatural experiences and manifestations, and towards being more focused on their own emotions.
    • to manipulate the spiritual atmosphere so as to reward people who were seeking after the supernatural, thereby encouraging them to focus on those spiritual manifestations and experiences being provided to them by the demonic and by the individuals working in the supernatural alongside the demonic.

I’ve already written about this, so rather than rewrite everything I’ve already written, here’s the link again to read my short testimony about this: “Our Testimony Concerning the Boundaries, Territories, and the Fallen.”

But there are two examples I want to quickly give that show how this infiltration worked on a more personal level.

Example Five: Astrally Attacking Pastors

Most of my astral assignments to churches were as illustrated in example four above, and were to churches in which I had no physical presence. I had never been to those churches, I didn’t know the name of them, and I couldn’t point them out to you if I walked past them on the street.

There were two exceptions, however.

Two exceptions that I can remember, at any rate, because, as stated before, I was dissociated when those parts of me were taking part in these assignments, and I was not completely aware of all this taking place when it was happening. When I was in my right mind again, any limited awareness I did have, I excused away, or dismissed as simply being my imagination. But now that the Heavenly Father has brought to my remembrance those evil things I was a part of, I have repented, and submitted to Him. And if I was involved in more, I trust that my Heavenly Father will bring it to my remembrance also, so that I can repent of that, too.

For these particular assignments, under the direction of the demonic, I and a group of people — the same group of people I was involved with on the assignments to the church in Florida, as I already wrote about — would travel in the astral to these pastors and to their families — and in the second instance, to some of the leadership in the church, too — and harass them in various ways, most often by sexually enticing the pastors and their wives (and sometimes their children, too, depending upon the age of the children), by frightening the younger children, by planting seeds of doubt in the wives’ minds, doing what we could to bring confusion and chaos that would cloud their judgement, and, generally speaking, by speaking curses towards them and their family.

I — as the part of me who was on the assignment — didn’t mind attacking the pastors and their wives, and sometimes their grown children, but I wasn’t keen on messing with the younger children. Even in the dissociated and absolutely wicked state I was in at that moment, it didn’t sit right with me to mess with the kids, and I got into more than one altercation with our team leader over this.

I don’t mention this so that you, the reader, will see me in a more flattering light, because having this sort of loose “moral compass” isn’t a credit to me at all. It speaks WORSE of me, actually, because even being dissociated, I knew it was wrong in what we were involved in … yet I kept on doing it.


It’s so shameful.

But at any rate, as you can imagine, the things we were doing to the families, under the direction of and through the power of the demonic, had negative effects on the pastors, their families, and eventually their churches.

One pastor was vulnerable and left open to this type of attack because he and his congregants, including myself, was beginning to get even more heavily involved in the charismatic movement (I was already heavily involved, however), culminating with a trip he made somewhere in Mexico (I think??), where he was supposedly “anointed by the Spirit” in a very powerful way. But of course, the spirit that he was “anointed by” was not the Sprit of God.

When he came back home from his trip, the spiritual attack against him and his wife and children began in full force, not only from the human infiltrators in the spiritual, but also directly from the demonic themselves. Because of these attacks, his children and wife began to fall ill and get hurt in bizarre accidents, the financial situation for the pastor and the church began to deteriorate, and the pastor himself started to have a nervous breakdown.

Eventually he and his family moved away, out of state, the church split up (although it’s back in operation now, I believe), and around the same time, my then-husband and I moved away too, so I’m not sure of what came of the entire thing. But it was completely devastating to the pastor, his family, and to the congregation, and I can’t express enough how sorrowful I am in my involvement in all of that.

The other pastor, who had a more conservative Baptist background, had built a thriving local TV ministry out of his church, and he was vulnerable and left open to this type of attack because a portion of the congregants in his mostly conservative church were beginning to get heavily involved in the charismatic movement (including myself, but again, I had already been heavily involved in the charismatic movement for years), and since that activity was unchecked and unaddressed by the pastor and other church leadership, who miserably failed to properly teach sound, Biblical doctrine from God’s written Word, it continued, leaving the doors open for the demonic to work more freely.

Additionally, this pastor had been hiding sexual sin for years, and although we — the infiltrators in the astral — were aware of it and knew exactly what it was at that time, it didn’t come to light until years later. I don’t remember now what it was, exactly, although I guess that part of me who was involved in the assignment recalls, because it was one of the reasons I — as that part of me — had absolutely no problem being involved in harassing this particular pastor: either he had been sexually assaulting one of his children, or someone else had been sexually assaulting one of his children, and even though he, the pastor, knew about it, he did nothing. But I can’t remember now which one it was.

And to be clear, I now regret my past involvement, of course, and I’ve repented of and have been delivered from such shameful activities. But at that time I didn’t regret it.

Regardless, the sexual sin the pastor was hiding had remained unaddressed and unrepented, and this also left him open to attack by both the demonic and the human infiltrators in the astral.

We used the same type of methods we had used before (as described above), and the same rotten fruit of our labors was eventually made evident several years later.

I’m not exactly sure of all the in and outs of everything because I had already moved away and had stopped attending that church by that time, but I came across people who were there when it all went down — people who used to go to church there or who dated people who went to church there — and while I don’t recall all the details (and if I did, I probably wouldn’t share them anyway), from what I was told, some of the following eventually took place: the sexual sin the pastor had been hiding was brought to light, the pastor either resigned or was forced to resign (and it still doesn’t appear that he is pastoring any longer, although I could be wrong, but I don’t know if that decision was related to the harassment, to the sexual sin, or to something else altogether), someone ended up stealing a small sum of money from the church coffers and then burned down the church, and there was general mayhem and chaos in the church.

After the fire, the new pastor, in what was likely an attempt to look on the bright side of things, inspirationally urged the congregation to “not quench the fire” that had been started (spiritually speaking, of course), and the congregation moved on, and began operating in a different location and under a different name.

I wonder if the new pastor really understood where this spiritual “fire” had actually come from …?

(See Example Two again, and also do a search for the term “fire” in our glossary)

Maybe, maybe not.

Church Infiltration: What is It, How Does It Happen, Why Does It Happen, and How Do We Overcome It?

In the past, very recently in fact, I have used the word “infiltrate” to describe what I was trained to do within churches, but as you can see with my above experiences, although what I was involved in was most certainly part of the process of infiltration, I wasn’t involved in infiltrating churches who weren’t already infected with false doctrines and rampant sin. Instead, I was involved in what I call “part two” of the infiltration process, and even though sometimes I did physically attend the churches, as illustrated above, the part I played in infiltration was solely in the supernatural realms, not in the physical.

This is a very important point to understand, because the level of demonic activity such as shown by the examples I have given, does not occur in churches who are teaching and holding to solid Biblical doctrines.

Instead, the churches were churches whose people and leadership had already been infected with false doctrine and with rampant sin, churches that were filled with people who were unrepented and saturated in those false doctrines …

(perhaps many out of ignorance, but ignorance doesn’t stop demons from trying to exert their influence)

… and they were “Christian” groups where demons were already actively present and working in their services, offering signs and manifestation and all sorts of “good feelings” to the congregants … plus a good dose of rampant sin and filth, of course, because such things stick around when people aren’t being discipled in good, sound, Biblical doctrine and the Truth of God’s Word.

For example, in the second example I gave, it wasn’t a case of a Godly church that had been infiltrated and subsequently infected — and this does happen, so don’t misunderstand me! — but it was a “church” that was being dedicated to the work of Satan from its very inception.

Now, I doubt that everyone — maybe not anyone — in the congregation consciously recognized this.

Like a lot of regular church people I grew up with, they probably had no idea that they were infected with false doctrines. They probably had no idea that there were literal demons working among them who were very comfortable, indeed, to sit in their pews, walk up and down their aisles, stroll around their pulpit, and lounge on their church floor, listening and watching, as the humans they were encouraging and influencing did their little jigs and ran around and jumped pews and basically lost control of their minds and bodies, all the while, babbling in a nonsense gibberish that they called “tongues” that they stubbornly insisted was the “evidence of the Holy Ghost.”

So I hope it’s clear: the demonic have no need to infiltrate organizations that they set up to begin with.

No, Satan can not and will not take over the TRUE Body of Christ — those who are saved by grace, are led by God’s Spirit, and hold fast to the Truth of His Word — but he has been building a counterfeit.

To this end, there are some “church” organizations — either entire denominations, or a smaller portion of the whole, such a single church or a single group — that have been infested with demons from its very beginning. I’m not trying to suggest that all churches or Christian groups are like this, but many of these types of “churches” and church-like groups exist, both physically and virtually, whether or not their congregants, followers, and even their leadership realize it (although, some do know exactly what they are doing!), because they have been brainwashed and deluded by false doctrines and can’t tell the difference between God’s Truth and Satan’s lies. Demons have no need to “infiltrate” such groups. Satan birthed the entire operation to begin with, and the demonic are conducting their business quite comfortably out of those organizations, pushing forward their agenda and infecting as many as possible with their false doctrines.

For the rest of you who belong to churches and groups, either physical or virtual, that were were not set up in such a way, please believe me when I say that no Christian church or group escapes being a target of demonic assignment, and if you think you are immune to it, you haven’t been paying attention, and that ignorance will cost you in the end.

When it comes to occult infiltration within Christian groups, what most Christians will probably notice is nothing. Not all, but most.

Or if they do notice, they don’t take it seriously.

This is because all too many people are not being diligent to line everything up with God’s written Word that has been properly interpreted within context. The doctrine of “tolerance” has fooled and taken over many, and so sin and false doctrines are tolerated within the churches, causing those within such churches and church groups to be duped by those false doctrines, lives destroyed by sin, and their churches taken over by the demonic.

But what they should notice when an infiltration is taking place, is physical people who are infiltrating in the physical realm, either consciously or unconsciously, and are attempting to infect people with false doctrines. Social media has made this even easier to do, of course, since the occult individuals don’t literally have to be physically present, but only have to be virtually present, but when I say “physical,” I mean “virtually” as well.

These same principles apply for any type of occult infiltration, and here’s a run-down of how it happens based upon my understanding:

  1. Infiltration by the demonic in any Christian organization or group is done for the purpose of infecting people with false doctrines (this is “part one”), which, if allowed, will pave the way for the demonic to take control of the group (this is “part two”).
  2. This infiltration is waged on two fronts: the physical (part one) and the spiritual (part two).
    • “Virtual” is in the same category as “physical.”
    • In the case of church infiltration, the physical infiltration comes first, followed by, and then occurring simultaneously with, an attack in the spiritual.
    • Before God opened my eyes, brought me to repentance, and delivered me, I was engaged in campaigns of infiltration behind the scenes in the spiritual. Sometimes, but not always, I was there physically, as I’ve mentioned, but as of my recollection right now (and I trust God that if I’m wrong, He will reveal to me differently so that I can repent of this, too), I wasn’t involved in part one of infecting with false doctrines, because I was involved in churches and church groups who were already infected, and I was being continually infected with false doctrines through those churches and church groups. (And in case anyone misunderstands me: I’m not excusing what I was involved in. I’m simply clarifying my involvement.)
  3. Regardless of whether the individual is working in the physical or in the spiritual (and some do work in both), there are four basic types of occult infiltrators, and they are either conscious of their involvement or they are unconscious of their involvement (for more detail on this, see “Classification of Christian Witches“):
    • The occult infiltrator can be consciously infecting people with false doctrines, knowing they are working for Satan to try to infect others.
    • They can be consciously infiltrating with false doctrines, but falsely believing they are working for God.
    • They can be promoting false doctrines without realizing it (in other words, they are doing so unconsciously), because they have been deceived.
    • Or, they can be unaware of what they are doing altogether, such as with dissociation.
      • For the most part, this was the case with me, until God began showing me what I had been involved in, and brought me to repentance.
  4. The physical infiltration (part one) is for the main purposes of encouraging others to consciously open themselves up to and seek after false doctrines and occult practices, and includes certain elements such as:
    • encouraging others to excuse, overlook, or to “redefine” sin
    • questioning the authority of God’s Word, with the intent to lead others away from God’s Word
      • In other words, it’s not so much the “questioning,” because questioning isn’t a bad thing, and we all do it. And we all should question so that we can find out for ourselves what the truth is. But the intent behind the questioning for occult infiltrators is not to come to the truth, but to lead people away from the truth.
    • encouraging others to look for spiritual nourishment outside of the Word of God, sometimes by subtly suggesting extra-biblical texts
    • encouraging others to engage in occult activities, such as meditation and yoga
      • this can be for the purposes of so-called “spiritual nourishment,” but can also be for the purposes of recreational or so-called “health” purposes
    • sexually luring the congregants or group members, but especially the leadership
    • using occult gifts (such as divination) to cause other people to falsely believe they are being led by the Spirit of God
    • attempting to exert control within the congregation or group to whatever extent they are able, by doing such things as:
      • donating large amounts of money
      • donating large or expensive pieces of property
      • doing “special favors”
      • donating excessive amounts of time
      • these things aren’t necessarily bad thing, given normal circumstances, but it’s the strings of control that are attached to such gifts and donations by occult infiltrators that are bad, but this control isn’t usually recognizable until much later
  5. If the physical infiltration (part one) is successful — in other words, if people are open to hearing and receiving the false doctrines — then the demonic rush in through the doors that people have left open to them, bringing with them human workers in the supernatural. This is the spiritual infiltration (part two), and is done in conjunction with the infiltration in the physical.
    • In my experiences, I worked in the astral, inside of churches mainly on this North American continent, and spiritual attacks upon those church organization and groups always included humans infiltrating in the astral realms alongside the demonic. But this is just my experiences, and it’s possible that there is not always human involvement for the spiritual infiltration.
  6. The spiritual attacks upon entire congregations and groups are done within services or meetings and are accomplished via the astral realms.
    • They are done with the main purpose of charging the atmosphere with positive, “feel good” feelings so that the congregants are more willing to open themselves up to the demonic, and to the experiences and manifestations that the demonic, and sometimes the infiltrators, may provide during such services.
    • When the individuals open themselves up to the demonic, the demonic will connect them with the spirit of the Antichrist (known in some occult circles as “Christ Consciousness,” “the Divine,” etc.).
      • This is done so that the demonic can exert greater control and influence over the individual through the connection they have made with them.
  7. The spiritual attacks upon individuals are usually focused upon pastors and their families, as well as upon leadership with the church or Christian group/organization/ministry, but can include anyone in the group, and are usually accomplished through dream insertion. They include elements of what is considered to be both “light and dark” (in other words, some things that “feel good” or “sound good,” and some things that don’t), such as:
    • encouraging the targets to follow or to continue to follow after occult doctrines
    • teaching occult doctrines
    • sexually luring the individuals, whether husband, wife, or children
    • frightening the individuals, especially the younger children
      • this can be done through dream insertion, but also with the direct help of the demonic who may manifest in the physical to bring fear, or who may assist the human infiltrator to briefly appear in the physical in order to bring fear
    • planting seeds of doubt
    • bringing confusion and chaos to cloud judgement
    • speaking curses that can bring physical harm to the body, to the mind, and/or to the emotions
    • etc.
  8. These simultaneous attacks in both the physical and in the spiritual are waged in order for the demonic to gain total control.
    • As stated before, within churches and church groups, this will always include creating a connection between themselves and the individuals, whereby the individual becomes addicted to and can be more easily controlled by the “highs and lows” of the “spiritual drug” the demonic are feeding them through various signs, wonders, manifestations, and spiritual experiences that the demonic provide for them.
      • This creates a stronger connection between the human and the demonic whereby the demonic can exert greater control and influence over the individual through the connection they have made with them, and encourage their human target along the path the demonic wish for them to go.
      • See also: “A Spiritual Drug and a Spiritual High.”
    • The attacks on individuals are to either get the individuals on board with the agenda of the demonic, or to drive them away so that the demonic can put someone else in place who will be on board with their agenda.
      • This is especially true of leadership, but can be true of anyone within the group.
  9. When the demonic have control of the group, they set up shop within that group to drive forward their agenda through that group, and they will continue to:
    • foster and encourage unrighteousness and unrepentance
      • Unrighteousness often hides behind a hypocritical mask of self-righteousness, and unrepentance can be hard to notice, especially when many put on a show of “repentance” so they can continue secretly in their sin, but these things — unrighteousness and unrepentance — are always present where the demonic live.
    • cause chaos and destruction that turns people away from God’s Word because of discouragement, delusion, and a loss of faith, and/or turns people away from God’s Word by encouraging them to seek for solutions outside of the Word of God to the problems they begin having … a so-called “solution” that the demonic then provide through their false doctrines
      • This is like a “problem-reaction-solution” scenario that the demonic create: they cause the problem in anticipation of the reaction, and then once they get that reaction (because since the Fall, people have continuously failed to align themselves with and submit to God’s Word), they offer their “solution” to the problem that they created in the first place.
    • cause people to continue to seek out the demonic (who are often disguised as “angels of God”) and to continue seek after demonic doctrines, usually under the guise of “spirituality”
      • This keeps people trapped in a perpetual loop of false doctrines and delusion, where they cannot understand the truth of God’s Word.
  10. The ultimate goal of this infiltration, in both the physical and in the spiritual, serves their larger goal, which is to train people, through occult doctrines and techniques, to come into agreement with and enter into a false “unity,” also known as “Christ Consciousness” (or other like terms), thinning the veil between the spirit world and the physical world, and in this way, they are preparing the way for the false Christ to appear, ultimately setting up Satan’s kingdom on earth.
Occult Infiltration in Christian Groups — from the article “Demons in the Church

Hopefully this helps explain that occult infiltration into Christian groups is done by first infecting people with false doctrines in the physical … and NOT by warning other people of those false doctrines, as much as some “Christian” occultists and their like-minded fan-based have falsely accused Carolyn and I of, and, through their slander and false witness, have tried to convince others to believe.

This physical infiltration is strengthened and furthered by ongoing infiltration in the spiritual, and all so that people will give control to the demonic, thereby allowing them (the demonic) to push their agenda through that group.

This serves their main goal of The Plan — the demonic’s most important long term goal — which is “to train people, through occult doctrines and techniques, to come into agreement with and enter into a false “unity,” also known as “Christ Consciousness” (and similar terms), thinning the veil between the spirit world and the physical world, thereby paving the way for the false Christ to appear.”

Ultimately, of course, this will cause Satan (also known as Lucifer) to be welcomed and set up as ruler of this world.

(See also: “Goal of the Infiltrators within Charismatic Christianity.” and “‘The Plan’ — What Is It?“)

And I want to make sure this point is clear: demonic attack begins in the physical and escalates to the spiritual, depending upon whether or not the physical infiltration has been successful or not.

In other words, if people reject their false doctrines, there will be no open door for the demonic to enter and their attempts will be thwarted. They will keep trying, however, you can be sure of that … so the Christian should always stay alert! This is what the Word of God clearly teaches, also.

See: 1 Corinthians 16:13, Ephesians 6:18, Colossians 4:2, 1 Thessalonians 5:6, 1 Peter 1:13, 4:7, 5:8, etc.

But if people are open to hearing and to being influenced by their false doctrines — and many are, because doctrines of demons “feel good” and “sound good”, at least at first — the demonic will overrun them in the supernatural. And if this is left unchecked — and by that point, it usually is, and the best thing for the true Christian to do is to get out of that environment — they will eventually establish their presence in that church or group and drive their antichrist agenda forward through that group of people who they are using.

So how to overcome this infiltration?

By the proper understanding of and the proper teaching of the Word of God.

This is the basics of spiritual warfare, and it’s not complicated at all.

Satan is the one who complicates matters.

God simplifies them.

Stick to God’s Word, and you won’t be led astray, even when demonic attacks come your way — and they will.

Loren Grace

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11 thoughts on “Demons in the Church

  1. Hi Loren,

    Your comment on the “satanic panic” of the 80s reminded me of a movie I recently saw about the “Memphis Three” that happened sometime in the 80s. Tragic what happened. But more to the point, it also made me wonder if the whole “spiritual awakening” or whatever it was called in the 80s (Left Behind series, etc.) was the fruit of some of these activities – hopefully by sincere Christians.

    The reason why I think about this is that I do know God saved me when I was 16 at a Youth For Christ meeting in someone’s home that was somehow affiliated with the local Baptist church – so even if the enemy meant destruction, in my case God turned it to good and for His glory!

    lol…I have a very “stream of consciousness” way of getting to the point – kind of like you – but I’m hoping you know what I mean. 🙂

    God bless you and yours.


    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow, that was a lot of work in that article. I appreciate it!
    So then it seems the state of the church is due to sin firstly, which opens it up to a “world of hurt”, and then or in addition, the outright attacks from the enemy.
    I’d love to see an article like this published in Christianity Today (I don’t know if that is a real one or not), or something akin.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Great article, lots of work!
    Thanks for the reference, I appreciate it.
    Just wanted to say, you probably did plenty of research, the only reason I have access to those psychology articles is because I’m studying through a university so I use the resources while I can to see what they know about this stuff 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I was raised in a little (1,000 pop) town from H*ll in north-central Kansas. I was Satanicly abused in a cult in every church in town protestant and pentecostal. Believe it or not, I was not abused in the Catholic church in town, the church that usually comes to mind for child abuse. The police were involved, and every high county official and as far as I know almost every minister or at least people who had access to the church buildings. I come from a multigenerational Satanic family, I believe that everyone in my family was DID. I always hated the sanctuary consciously as I remember and always wondered why until I started my memories. However, because of a sexual abuse incident by the Meth. minister when I was 2-2 1/2 yrs old I knew as strong as a little “2 year old” can know from that time on that Jesus was my very best friend when he came to me and helped me get through the abuse which of course was horrendous. I was afraid of God but not Jesus. I know that sounds strange. I was blessed to integrate in Feb 2020 only by help from our Father in Heaven. I never really thought I would ever get here in my physical life. I praise my God, Father and his son Jesus Christ for that unexpected blessing! And of course, the guidance of the Holy Spirit who has guided me to find the physical angels on this earth that have helped me all in this journey of healing all my life. I know well of the existence of the devil in churches today but also know of many that are not full of darkness today! Thanks for all your work!


    1. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Mary! 😊 I appreciate you taking the time to comment. Nothing of what you said sounds strange at all, because I’ve been there myself. But some of what you say in this comment and in the other one on my personal blog is sending up those “red flags” I’ve talked about here and there, because it sounds like where I used to be not too long ago. I’m not trying to be offensive or dismissive, and if I come across that way, I hope you can forgive me. But I’m speaking from personal experiences, and since you commented, I am compelled to address at least one point in particular: angels do not guide us into healing. If I’ve misunderstood what you’ve meant by your words, please overlook my foolishness, but I hope you are lining up everything that you are going through in your healing journey with the Word of God that has been properly interpreted within context. This is the only way to ensure you will truly be healed, and not just tricked by the enemy (the demonic) and reprogrammed to be used by them in a different capacity. This happens SO OFTEN with mind control survivors, as I’ve written a lot about, and as they have been fooled into a healing that does not line up with Scripture, they are putting themselves at an even greater risk of falling into delusion. I’m glad I finally came to the point where I learned that healing according to God’s Word is true healing. Other things might make us feel better, but what feels good isn’t what always is good.

      Please keep in mind what I have been trying to tell people for quite some time now: God does not program people. He does not RE-program, and neither does He DE-program. He heals. And this healing is a direct result of submission to the work of His Spirit within us, and will always be in harmony with what is written in His Word. In this way, not only are we protected from further deception, but the Heavenly Father gets all the glory for His work of healing. Not us. And this, too, is one of the traits of our healing journey that should be taken into consideration: who is getting all the glory for the work?

      If I haven’t already turned you away (and I hope that isn’t the case), I hope that some of what we write about in this blog and on our personal blogs helps you understand these vital points, and to encourage you to keep yourself in alignment with God’s Word. ❤

      Update: see also — “God Is Not In the Business Of Programming


  5. Hello again Loren. I really appreciate your testimony, the work you put into recalling facts. It confirms things I’ve been learning as I’ve researched ‘roots’ of ministries, seeing how bad trees and bad fruit have come about thro’ infiltration, using the flesh of weakened human vessels, and disregard for the truth of God’s Word. The Lord bless, continuing to heal and restore. Peace and joy to you and your family. Love and prayer, Daryl

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Thank you so much Loren for going into so much thought on these issues. It was certainly many things brought out and for me some aha moments. Am not in the same position of knowing exactly what went on in my childhood , but am certainly on a trail of repentance ( thats truly God given and not witchcraft for fake religion purposes ). I guess it will take a while for the things I’ve done in the physical to repent of. I repent for things inside and pray for healing of the the things I’m aware of , but not fully validated of.

    God will not be dictated to about the when and how you want to be healed and delivered. That’s a man centred idea and not God’s. It just doesn’t fly with someone involved in life coaching who is based around their own hero worship need.

    To be asked ” Well I need to be doing things to protect and facilitate healing, as it’s what I do ! ” , when your wanting to give these things up to God, does not make it right when you feel you are now wrong ( because of programming – which this person knows how to manipulate ). Your guilt , shame and other programming come into play for these people .

    Nor does a life coach saying they have met your parts outside on their own time. When you , yourself have no connection to them. You can as you’ve been instructed visualise things , but you are now told, that they built a high rise condo building inside your system with the afore mentioned part in charge of this so called city. This part is continually asked if all is ready. None of my parts were ever invited into this condo. My parts were told they had houses. After many revelations, and what Loren has shared, I have really sadly put 2 and 2 together.

    I have taken many years away from this to work through things to get to truth and am now sifting through repentance on a Godly level. I have much to repent of – Am understanding that I have made many of mistakes, but before it was placed in false religion , all of which was forcibly removed ( so called through false deliverance ).

    There’s no visions now , there is a sense of the spirit of God bringing things to my attention. I feel like I have a long way to go.

    But I believe in my circumstance, there was a knowing which road I would take ( God’s), eventually in my life and I was treated as such. An outcast in circles to do with the occult and absolutely debased inside to the full extent. I don’t remember my childhood too much. Just enough to know my circumstances. I didn’t fit in anywhere and never formed real relationships . I walked away from God so many times because I was taught also in a fire and brimstone church that God heals and if not , then I guess you just didn’t cut it. I rebelled badly and had a poor understanding of God and who He is as a Father, due to a poor family outlook growing up.

    I remember being asked to Sunday School by a classmate. My Mother said ” And a child shall lead the way “, and promptly went back to church that she had left as a young person. The false doctrine programming began physically in the home, the little bits I can remember. They would have been an extension of what was done in the astral etc…

    Things were done with an end result in mind.

    My understanding is that at a very young age I was given a choice if I wanted to walk away from all that was going on inside. You can guess what a child might say. So that now what is done on the inside must have an anchoring ( meaning doorway to the occult ) , on the outside. I have never been involved in satanic or witchcraft, but I have done enough soft and acceptable sins by society to facilitate all they need. Sadly it doesn’t take much and no real ( but witchcraft induced ) repentance, makes for a field day for the enemy .

    It takes a lot to realise the reality of what’s been done- let alone pay someone large amounts of money for so called healing, only to discover that you have put yourself so much further back on the path to true healing from God.

    It’s another hard lesson to learn

    Thank you Loren and Carolyn for your honesty and courage.

    Liked by 1 person

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