(Notice: Carolyn’s thoughts about this article can be found in the comment section at the bottom of the page.)
Carolyn and I received a couple of emails the other day from an individual.
And by “Carolyn and I,” I don’t mean that the email was actually addressing the both of us, but that the email came into our joint “Carolyn and Loren” inbox via the contact form that is on this website.
*ahem*… our joint website, in case that wasn’t already clear
Of course, I assumed the email was addressed to both of us (boy oh boy, I should know better by now about the perils of “ass-u-me”), but the writer made sure to point out in the second email he sent, that although he was “grateful for” me as well, he wasn’t talking to me… but was only addressing Carolyn.
And there I was, in spite of the insanity of what he was suggesting regarding “healing from D.I.D.” …
and I say “insanity,” because what he was sharing in such an enthusiastic manner was practically identical to the unbiblical and dangerous “counseling” I had already been through when being “coached” by self-proclaimed “D.I.D. expert,” Dan Duval… but I’ll save that for the topic of the next article
… I was actually feeling the tiniest little lift in my heart, because while reading the first email, I had assumed that all the kind words of “thank you for what you are doing” and the exclamation of “you’re a badass”
his words not mine, so I’m sorry if anyone is offended by this, but I took it as a compliment
were directed to BOTH of us!!
The point was very clearly made that I wasn’t being addressed.
Well, color me a silly little goose!
So, although those two emails brought up a serious topic that both Carolyn and I are going to address in a later post, I have something to get something off my chest, and I really hope that what I’m trying to say isn’t misunderstood.
I totally get when people email Carolyn at our joint email address and only want to hear from her. I get that. It happens sometimes, and it doesn’t usually bother me. Why would it? The fact is, most people want to hear from Carolyn. Not me. And I get that, too. It’s okay! Carolyn has been around longer than I have, she’s been vocal about things longer than I have, and more people are familiar with her and not me.
So I get it!
However, what I do not appreciate is being treated like an afterthought, especially after the writer of the email contacts BOTH of us from our JOINT blog, often spends hundreds of words describing the content of the book Carolyn and I wrote, or the topics that are on this joint blog of ours (most of which I have written, btw, as described below), and then proceeds to pointedly inform me that he or she isn’t speaking to me, sometimes even adding a little “but you’re awesome, too, Loren!” or a similar thought, at the end, as if I need (or even want) a little symbolic “pat on the head” or an encouraging “atta-girl!”
It’s disingenuous and patronizing, and I seriously dislike disingenuous people who patronize me.
Because the truth is (and I’m not trying to “toot my own horn”… I’m just speaking the truth because I’m tired of some people treating me as an afterthought…), I write about 98% of the content on this blog that some people want to discuss with Carolyn — and not only that, but then go on to make a very clear point of trying to exclude me from the conversation surrounding the very content that I have written!
Or, very pointedly ignore me when I insert my own thought into the conversation that they started… about information that I wrote….
Furthermore, I wrote about 95% of the book that Carolyn and I authored together (which is the main reason why Carolyn insisted upon having my name listed as the first author). But again, some people want to discuss the contents of the book with Carolyn, but they make a very clear point to try to exclude me from the conversation surrounding the content of the book that I have written, too!
(Or, very pointedly ignore me when I insert my own thought into the conversation that they started… about information that I wrote….)
Additionally… the vast majority of the emails that garner a response, actually come from me, because Carolyn just doesn’t have the emotional or mental energy to spend the time to deal with it any longer.
And please don’t get my words twisted… Carolyn is VERY much a part of this blog, VERY much a part of the book, and VERY much a part of the email responses that end up being sent to individuals who send us questions or comments. We spend a LOT of time talking via phone about emails and about the content that goes on our blog. And out of the 4,383 hours there were in the 6 months that it took to write our book, we spent a large amount of those hours discussing the content and going over what had been written.
But we do it together, and we do it in a way that works well for the both of us!
You see, since we have both been delivered by God from the occult, and since we both have experienced very similar things when we were working for and within Satan’s hierarchy, we both have a goal and a mission for this website. And we write and share not for ego, but because the message that we BOTH have — the experiences that we BOTH have shared — is very important to share with others! And we feel very strongly that, in spite of the unfortunate circumstances we were both in when we first met, the Heavenly Father worked even that for our good! We believe that His plan was for us to meet and to work together to get this information out to bring warning to the body of Christ of how they are falling prey to Satan’s deceitful plans!
So you have an idea of how Carolyn and I work together to get out new content, here’s an example of how the process usually goes between the two of us when getting new content published on our blog:
1. We receive an email.
2. We both have our own thoughts about it.
3. We talk about those thoughts via telephone, usually in a series of phone conversations.
4. Carolyn usually ends up saying something to the effect of: “If you want to write something, go for it.”
5. I write something.
6. Depending upon the circumstances and depending upon the depth of the topic, sometimes we have additional phone conversations during the writing process.
7. I text her some time later and say something like: “I’m done. Do you want to go over it?”
8. Carolyn texts back and says something to the effect of: “I’m sure whatever you said is great. You probably said it better than I could have.”
9. I text back and say something like: “Thanks, but I’d feel better if you went over it before I publish it.”
10. Sometimes we banter about this a bit, but she usually ends up reading over it, making screenshots of a few spelling or punctuation errors, and sending them to me via FB messenger.
11. Every once in a while, she has an additional thought that she would like inserted into the article, and we might have another phone conversation about it.
12. I correct the errors, include any additional thoughts (if she had additional thoughts), and publish the final article.
There are variations, of course, but that’s a good example of how the writing process goes between the two of us. And it works very well for us! Neither one of us are complaining about it.
So, yes, what I write is very much a reflection of BOTH of our thoughts and BOTH our experiences… but it’s not as if I’m over here, playing tiddlywinks with my selves (I don’t even know what tiddlywinks is… it’s just something I’ve heard before, and it sounds funny) while Carolyn does all the writing. And neither is Carolyn playing tiddlywinks while I do all the work. We simply have a process that works very well in getting out the information that BOTH of us have to share.
Anyhoo… all that “horn-tooting” to say this: after over TWO YEARS of Carolyn and I working together, writing articles on a blog that we BOTH own about topics that we are BOTH qualified to speak on, writing a book together about experiences that we BOTH have had, doing videos together about topics that we are BOTH qualified to speak on, etc…, I’m at the point now where if you email us (at our JOINT email account, no less!) about the content of our book or the content of our blog, and have the audacity to make a very clear point that you “aren’t addressing Loren, but this is for Carolyn,” no one is probably going to respond, unless it’s with a link to this article.
I’m not saying that it’s rude to email both of us and ask Carolyn a specific question. I’m just saying that there’s a line of disrespect that some of you have crossed. Some of you have crossed it in a kind way, and others of you have not been so kind. But regardless of intent, I’m not going to put up with it any longer.
1. Carolyn and I are now working together in getting out a message that Carolyn has, in the past, done all on her own.
2. This message is shared on this website (CarolynandLoren.com), and it is a reflection of the experiences and the viewpoints of BOTH of us. Not just Carolyn. Not just Loren. But both.
3. And finally, over the past two years of working with Carolyn, I believe I have earned the respect of being acknowledged for my contribution to this joint effort. I believe I have earned the courtesy of my voice being heard in any conversation you want to have surrounding the content of this blog and our book and our videos.
THANK YOU to those of you who do understand this and who have given me the same respect and consideration that you give to Carolyn.
For the rest of you, please catch up.
And I say this with all the 🙂’s and ❤’s I can possibly muster at this point.
P.S. A related point that Carolyn asked me to make clear in this article: Carolyn has also asked me to help her with her Facebook page. Sometimes she shares content from our JOINT WEBSITE on her FB page, or from MY personal website, or from HER personal website. And sometimes she asks me to post something on her FB page. Often, I respond to comments made by some of you about the content that I have actually written, but based on the level of disrespect that some of you have shown me on Carolyn’s FB page (comments that usually remain hidden or are deleted), Carolyn would like you to know that the above article applies to you, too. 🙂❤
P.P.S. And yes, I talked this article over with Carolyn, too, during the process of writing it and before I published it. And, because this is a topic that is frustrating to her, too, she wanted a few points made more clear. So I made them more clear. And then I texted her to ask if she wanted to go over it again before I published it. And she wrote back, “Sure.” So we did. And she wanted the “P.S.” added. So I added it. Then I published it.
This is all just part of the process we go through when adding new content on this website.
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