Before You Email Us: Deliverance is Not a Destination

A couple days ago, we received an email from a precious individual, and it reminded me that I have been needing to address something.



Carolyn and I have covered the topic of deliverance in our book, in several of our articles, and in a series of nine videos where we extensively detail deliverance and spiritual warfare according to GOD’S STANDARDS (in other words, according to the Word of God!). However, not surprisingly, we still receive occasional emails from people giving various details about their specific situation, and asking us how to find deliverance from what usually sounds like a campaign of demonic harassment.

I usually personally respond by giving them links to everything Carolyn and I have done so far that covers the topic of deliverance and spiritual warfare.

Every once in a while, I come across someone who is open and receptive to at least watching and reading the material we have on our website. But sadly, there are those who refuse to read or watch the material, and they just want someone to tell them what to do, or are looking for someone to give them a special prayer to pray that will get rid of their problem. Or, they watch a tiny portion of the first video, and decide that it doesn’t address the specific style or type of demonic harassment they’re dealing with, so they don’t finish watching the videos, and they refuse to read any of our material.

Coming across those types of people can be frustrating and sad to me, and all I can do is pray that they will see the truth and find deliverance and freedom.

But on the other hand, I can understand the mindset that many of them are stuck in. After all, it wasn’t too long ago that I, too, felt that my problems were so big that the basics of the Word of God was too “elementary,” and that the truth found in the Word of God was not as powerful as I needed it to be to address my very difficult situation. I wasn’t consciously aware that my heart was in such a condition, of course, because I considered myself a Christian and I claimed to believe the Word of God to be truth. But looking back now, I realize that over time, my heart and my mindset had started to believe that God’s Word wasn’t powerful enough for me.

The problem was that I had never been taught sound Biblical doctrine. I had been taught doctrines of men and doctrines of demons, but I had never been taught the truth. And like many people, I was confusing those ungodly and unbiblical doctrines with truth.

I had been taught a lot of man-made rules, sure, but I don’t ever remember anyone clearly teach and explain about the true basics of our Christian faith (things like: repentance, righteousness, obedience, submission to God, following Jesus Christ, etc), so I didn’t really understand what those things meant. So when I did hear people casually mention those foundational concepts, I could not make the connection between what they were saying and the problems that I was having. It never occurred to me that those basics would help me, partly because I thought I had already done those things. I had “been saved” and I “spoke in tongues,” so I thought all those spiritual things had already been taken care of. I was doing my best to follow all the rules that I had been taught since birth, and so I believed I was a Christian, and if I just continued to follow all those rules, that eventually, God would help me, too.

If someone would have asked me then about Jesus or about the Bible in relation to the subject of deliverance or overcoming, and had I been bold enough to respond, I would have likely parroted an obligatory “christian-ese” response. Such as, “There’s power in the name of Jesus!” Or, “There’s power in the blood!” Or, “Prayer changes things!” Or, “Praise through your mountain!” Or, thinking that going to weekly church services that was held in a church building was equivalent to being connected to “the body of Christ,” I might have inquired, “Are you going to church anywhere?” Or, I might have asked, “Have you read So-and-So’s book?” Or I might have suggested, “You need Brother So-and-So to lay hands on you and pray!” Or even, when I got a bit older and bolder and was practicing to be a good Christian prayer warrior, I might have said, “Let me lay hands on you and speak in tongues over you.”

And over time, when the man-made doctrines and rules didn’t “work” for me, I learned to say, “God is good, all the time!” Or, “I’m blessed and highly favored!” Or other Christian-sounding phrases and words that sounded good but had no real heart behind them. They were hollow-sounding words to me, and I didn’t believe them at all, because the truth is, I incorrectly believed that the “Christian solutions” I had been taught were what the Bible was all about, and my life experiences in church environments and my experiences with Christian people had taught me that those “Christian solutions” did not work for me. They were for other people (usually those other people who were seemingly “more christian” than me), but they weren’t powerful enough for me.

So since I was confusing fallible and incorrect doctrines of men and doctrines of demons with true Biblical doctrines, I believed that the Word of God wasn’t powerful enough for me.

I believed that the name of Jesus worked (in theory), but it didn’t always work for me, and I wasn’t sure what to do or what to say to make it work like other people said it worked for them.

And I believed that there was power in the blood of Jesus (in theory), but in my experiences, it wasn’t powerful enough to heal me (not just physically, but emotionally, mentally, spiritually), and I wasn’t sure what to say or what to do to convince God to treat me like I thought He was treating everyone else who invoked the blood and got the results they wanted.

That’s just what I had experienced in my life, but I wasn’t able to be honest about my feelings and thoughts then. I wasn’t brave enough to articulate those thoughts, even to myself, much less to God. After all, God was God, and He was all-powerful, and if He knew that I was having those evil thoughts about how His stuff wasn’t working for me, I’d probably get struck dead or something.

So I pretended that all those “Christian rules” I had been taught over the years that were supposed to “work” …

all the church-going; trying to remember to read my Bible every day, even though I couldn’t understand half of what I was reading (but I could quote it!); chanting particular words of prayer in a particular way; purchasing and reading this special book or that special book written by this or that “anointed man or woman of God”; praising and worshiping God with as much enthusiasm as I could muster; speaking and praying and singing in tongues; saying “in Jesus name” at every prayer opportunity; pleading the blood of Jesus when I was either really desperate for God to answer my prayer, or really confident that my prayers were working; all the laying on of hands, and all the shouting and the dancing and the bold proclamations and the crying and the pleading; seeking after all the “feel-good feelings” of a “good” church service, and pretending to have “feel-good feelings” after a good church service; and, of course, paying tithes and offerings

… I pretended that all those things I had been taught were the “right way,” were things that were actually working in my life, even though they weren’t. And so I kept doing those same things, hoping and praying that one day I’d be just as “pressed down shaken together and running over” blessed as the other Christian people around me. Hoping that one day, it would “work” for me.

But it never worked, and I got tired of pretending. But instead of taking the time then to ask myself and God the hard questions, I just ignored everything. I shunned the truth, because I was afraid that the answer was, “God doesn’t answer your prayers because He doesn’t love you.”

Fast-forward to my 30’s, and there I was, still dealing with crushing depression, suicidal thoughts (and the occasional attempt), severe demonic oppression, demonic attacks, dealing with addictions and sinful behaviors that I couldn’t control, horrible nightmares, awful thoughts and images that I couldn’t get out of my head, etc …. And when an opportunity came for a “more powerful way” to deal with the huge problems in my life, why wouldn’t I jump at the chance? After all, I wanted a relationship with God! I wanted to be good and to do the right thing and to be “normal” like all the other Christians I saw around me! I wanted to be healed and whole and happy like everyone else! They deserved healing and wholeness and happiness, right? So why didn’t I deserve it, too?

So I went for the “more powerful solution,” because in my mind at that time, I believed that what I thought were the basics of the Bible and good Christian living (those man-made rules and doctrines I had been taught), were for other people. For normal people. For average people. But not for me, because my problems were abnormal.

And as far as the “other stuff” in the Bible I had heard and read about occasionally, such as repentance and confession and all that jazz, I thought I was already doing all that — had, in fact, believed that I worked through most of that whenever I had gotten saved. No one had told me about living a lifestyle of repentance, confession, etc, but I felt I was living that way, anyway.

For example:

⇒ I thought I had confessed my sin because, aside from the fact that I had already said the prayer of salvation and admitted my sinful state, I was constantly berating myself and telling myself how evil and disgusting I was, and I had no problem admitting to myself or to anyone else how flawed I was; yet I still struggled. So in my mind, confession didn’t work for me.

⇒ I thought I had repented of my sin because I was constantly begging God to forgive me of sins that I knew about, and for sins that I couldn’t remember but was still stained and burdened by; yet I still struggled. So in my mind, repentance didn’t work for me.

⇒ I thought I had surrendered and submitted to God because I thought I was saved and had submitted my life to Christ; yet I still struggled. So in my mind, submission to God didn’t work for me.

⇒ I thought I already knew how to make my requests known to God and, depending upon my mood, I was either proclaiming and demanding from God (and calling it “faith”), or I was begging and pleading with God; yet I still struggled and my demands/pleas were rarely answered. So in my mind, prayer didn’t work for me.

⇒ I thought I had faith because I believed in God even though I couldn’t see Him, and I thought I was walking by faith because I had no idea where I was going or what I was doing, yet I was still blindly walking. And since I believed that faith was believing even when you couldn’t see, and since I couldn’t see but was still trying to believe, I thought I understood what walking by faith was all about, and I thought I had faith. Yet I still struggled. And so, in my mind, walking by faith didn’t work for me.

⇒ I thought I was following all the Christian rules for Godly living; yet I still struggled. So in my mind, walking in obedience to God’s Word didn’t work for me.

⇒ I thought I was living humbly because I knew I was an awful person and I hated myself; yet I still struggled. So in my mind, living humbly didn’t work for me.

⇒ I thought I was focusing on God because all I had ever wanted to do was serve God, do the right thing, and make Him happy, and I thought I had a relationship with Him because I thought I was saved; yet I still struggled. And so, in my mind, focusing on God and on my relationship with Him rather than my problems didn’t work for me.

So I needed something more.

I didn’t feel like any of the “normal Christian things” were working for me, and over time, I became convinced that I needed something “more powerful” to help solve my “extra-complicated problems.”

Even though I couldn’t recognize my attitude at the time, the truth is, I was actually convinced that I needed a solution that was more powerful than what the Word of God taught. No surprise, however, since I had never been taught true Biblical doctrine. I had no idea about the truth of the Word of God! I could quote Scripture, sure, but the truth had never fully soaked into my heart and into my understanding.

So I sought out a “more complicated solution” to address my “more complicated problems,” and I started so-called “deliverance counseling” with a man whom I naïvely thought was a “more powerful Christian” who had “more powerful prayers.”

Fast-forward again, two very painful years later …

Through the horrible ordeal in that type of “counseling,” I was finally forced to the excruciating decision that God had rejected me. That He hated me. That He had literally created me to be against Him, and that by not working for Satan, I was actually going against God’s will. And because I thought that God hated me, I decided that I hated Him, too. For my own sanity, I had to hate God. Loving Him and knowing He hated me and had rejected me was too painful and difficult to bear. So I had to hate Him, too.

It wasn’t a tit-for-tat, “you hate me so I hate you” type of thing. It was for my survival.

Furthermore, I decided that since I had been unconsciously working for Satan up until that point, I figured why not consciously work for Satan, then, since that’s what I truly believed God had planned for me, anyway?

And that was what I was going to do.

Except — well, except my heart just couldn’t work against God, even though I was absolutely convinced that is what He had created me to do. And besides, I had grown to hate the demonic even more than I had convinced myself that I hated God, so just imagining working alongside the demonic once again was too awful and angering to even think about. I despised the demonic, yet God was going to force me to work with them anyway …?

I couldn’t decide who I hated more: Satan or God.

I was full of anger, rage, and bitter, spirit-crushing disappointment with God, and I didn’t know what to do or where to go. So I just sat there, full of rage and hurt, and relishing every angry thought towards God that, until that point, I had been too afraid to think or feel my entire life.

I do not know how the Spirit of God reached me in that state. I really don’t. I think sometimes that maybe it had to do with me finally being able to be honest with myself and with God …? But I’m not sure. At any rate, the Spirit of God worked on my heart, and in the midst of me railing against Him, and defiantly and painfully screaming how much I hated Him, I thought I heard Him ask in a very quiet voice: “If you stayed right here in this pit of despair for the rest of your life, would you still serve Me?”

I’m not sure if it was God or not (I’ve been humbled to the point where I will never again be so bold and arrogant as to claim absolutely that I have heard the voice of God this side of eternity), but it shocked me. I started thinking about that question and what my answer would be. And within a very few short weeks, I came to realize that I had never been a Christian in the truest and realest sense of the word. I came to realize that I had probably never once followed the Word of God, and if I had, it was probably by accident, because I had never been properly taught the Word of God.

Even though I had always had a love for knowing the truth, I had never known the truth because I had never been taught the truth!

I had been taught doctrines of men. I had been taught doctrines of demons. But I had never been taught true, Biblical doctrine!

And I came to realize that God had never delivered me from my pit of despair not because He hated me or had rejected me. But He hadn’t allowed me out of that pit because that’s where He was. He was there the whole time, in that pit with me. And He wanted me there, because that’s where He was. And as I started to come to that humbling revelation, I finally submitted to the will of the Father and said, “Yes, I will serve You, even if this pit is right where you want me to stay for the rest of my life.”

And I started focusing on the Heavenly Father, instead of the demonic harassment; I started focusing on Him, instead of my overwhelming and insurmountable problems; I started focusing on Him, instead of me, instead of other people. And when I started to focus on Him, His Spirit helped me come under submission to His Word and to His will, and He started to heal me and bring clarity and understanding. I started to understand the truth of the Word of God, and I started realizing that the very deliverance I had been trying to find my entire life was right there in His Word! It was the basics that I had rejected!

Or, more accurately, the basics that I had thought I was living, and then rejected because I thought it didn’t work.

I’m still being healed. I’m not “there.”

I’m still being delivered. I’m not “there.”

I’m still learning to live a lifestyle of confession, repentance, submission, prayer, faith, obedience, humbleness, and more. I’m still learning to focus on my Heavenly Father rather than on me. Or on other people. Or on the demonic.

I’ll be doing this for the rest of my life, and I’m okay with that!

Because deliverance and healing and freedom is not a destination; it’s a lifestyle!

It’s a lifestyle of learning to deny myself; of learning to pick up my cross and follow in the footsteps of Jesus Christ; it’s a lifestyle of learning to walk in obedience to the Father and in submission to His will.

It’s a lifestyle of learning the truth about the Word of God and in learning how to walk in that truth!

But for some of us, figuring this out takes some time. And it takes heartache. And it takes hanging out, against our will, in a pit of despair, being attacked by the demonic, being spat on and kicked at and stepped on by other people, being abused and mistreated and overlooked, and sometimes even coming to the point where you are so convinced that God hates you — that He has rejected you — that you try to convince yourself that you hate Him, too, and that you reject Him, too.

But if you can learn to not despise the simple things — if you can learn to not despise and overlook the basics; to not despise the foundational truths found in God’s Word — that’s where your deliverance is: in the simple truth of the Word of God!

Not in the complications that mankind puts on you. Not in the complicated prayers and the complicated solutions that you seek. Not in the difficult doctrines of men that they teach and their standards that are impossible to live by. Not in the flashy doctrines of demons that are so appealing to the senses and make us feel so good temporarily.

But in the simple truth of the Word of God, beginning with a relationship with the Heavenly Father through Jesus Christ, and continuing as you yield to the working of the Spirit of God within you, Who enables you to follow and to be obedient to His standards that are found in His Word!

That’s the only way!

It’s very easy to fall prey to Satan’s deceptions, particularly when we are desperate and focusing on our problems and on finding a solution for those problems. And it’s easy to fall prey to the lies because they are often packaged in such appealing, seemingly “Christian” packages. But when we follow the simple truth of the Word of God and begin focusing on our relationship with the Heavenly Father, He begins to apply His solution to our problems.

So, this is just a reminder to everyone who has emailed us and who is thinking about emailing us, asking us “How do I find freedom? How do I find deliverance? What prayer do I pray? Will you pray with me? Can I talk with you? Can you pray for me so I can be delivered? Tell me what to do so I can be delivered!”

The Heavenly Father is your Deliverer.

Not us.

The Heavenly Father is your Healer.

Not us.

All we are trying to do is explain that when you follow the simple truths found in the Word of God, He brings healing! He brings deliverance!

As a reminder, here are some of the basic Biblical truths that Carolyn and I have talked about, over and over and over again:

  • Confession
  • Repentance
  • Submission to the Father
  • Making your requests known to the Father
  • Walking by faith
  • Walking in obedience to God’s Word

We also talk about the importance of living humbly, and why we need to continue to focus on the Solution (the Heavenly Father) rather than the problem.

These are the basics!!!!

Study the basics! Live the basics! Make these things your lifestyle!

Here is the link to watch the video series where Carolyn and I talk in detail about these things:

Deliverance and Spiritual Warfare 101

And from our book, here are some of the sections that deal with the topic of deliverance and spiritual warfare:

The basic and foundational truths for deliverance and healing that are found in the Word of God are for you, too! They aren’t too simple. They aren’t “not powerful enough.” God’s Word IS powerful, but you have to apply the truths to your life. You have to be obedient.

So don’t fall prey to the demonic lies that many people parrot nowadays. Don’t despise the simple things!

Loren Grace ❤️

See also: God Is Not In The Business Of Programming

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11 thoughts on “Before You Email Us: Deliverance is Not a Destination

    1. Hi Lois,
      I appreciate your inquiry. 🙂 I am planning to do a short video to give an update. I think I’m doing well when I consider all that I have been through over the last year and a half. I’ve had what I consider some set backs when I had reactions to a couple of medications. I’ll know more about my over all health next month when I see my doctors for my 6th month check up. I’m looking forward to that. 🙂




  1. I have been searching for deliverance ministries for a couple of years. I attend a small Church of Christ in my area. I have had demonic attacks and was frustrated that this church didn’t even discuss any other tools other than, keep praying! I even happened onto an older blog with a ministry that you both were affiliated with years ago. I read both sides of that argument and landed firmly here! I read my own thoughts written in black and white here. I thought I needed something more than the basics for my situation!!! My brother is the worship music leader for a non-denominational church that is involved quite a bit in spiritual warfare. Myself, my brother, his daughter and my two adult children have had some mind blowing experiences spiritually from a very young age. I got so wrapped up in “what’s the enemy got in their arsenal” that the enemy and fighting him was my focus, not our God!!
    Thank you for all you do! I love reading, more so than the videos, and y’all have DO MUCH TRUTH WRITTEN out!!! It’s just awesome!! Thank you for being here!!


    1. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Teresa! 🙂 It’s a blessing to know that what we are sharing is helping others, and that others like you can relate. Thanks be to God, who brings us all good things (including deliverance!!) through His Son, Jesus Christ, and through His Spirit who works in us!

      Blessings! ❤


  2. Wow, all of this has been my experience! I was so focused on the very dire issues I was facing that I went looking for other answers in charismania instead of Gods word (which I also didn’t think was powerful enough at the time). Thank you so much for taking the time and energy to write about your journey so that others can be helped!


    1. Thanks for sharing your thoughts Danielle. 😊 I pray you continue to walk in healing as you learn to focus on The Solution (the Heavenly Father) rather than the problems. ❤️


  3. This is exactly what I needed to read. Thank you guys. I’m still a work in progress myself. I’m sorry for emailing several times on these things. I do appreciate what you guys have done through your book and blogs and videos. I’ve just been struggling to get through it all. Thank you though. For all the great things you guys do and have done with all the help and resources you’ve produced. Please forgive me. I’m still learning the basics. Seems like I’ve been stuck on learning the basics for some time now. This post really hit home exactly with pretty much all of it. And I guess I’m struggling with that whole turning the other cheek and going through and enduring those pits. I just know God is a good God and He is kind. It’s just been difficult. But really, thank you for this post. I think it is exactly what I needed to read. God bless you guys.


  4. Carolyn and Loren,
    Please view my facebook website. I love you and dearly appreciate what you are doing and need to talk to you regarding the true light of Christ vs the inverted Satanic version of it. Please contact me ASAP in regards to this!


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